Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

16 May 2007

I was 21

At 21 years old, I stood on a pink carpeted generic church platform, singing Great Big Sea shanties in head, trying to distract my mind from sweating. It's all I could think of doing while waiting for my bride to appear through the solid pine double doors.

There were dusty rose bows on the pews. Simple.
The nondescript church candelabras were hauled out of the storage closet/baptismal tank and topped out the usual wedding trappings. Lukey’s boat being paint green allowed me to stop from giving in to the combination of laughter and vomit that was struggling for premium position inside me. Thankfully for the immediate family in the front row, the raucous vocals of Alan Doyle won out.

An overwhelming moment. A good portion of me felt confident.

I assumed I was ready for the glorious martial life that lied ahead. I mean, we passed the Pentecostal Assemblies martial scan-tron test didn’t we?

I thought that I had grasped the magnitude of what I was doing. Many of the guests KNEW we were far too young and naive. I could hear the whispers. Some were not happy that they had to come to a wedding that was having its reception in a gym with no booze. I knew this and cared not. They were all getting Kaisers with ham it… so drink your orange drink and be happy!

My policy for the previous year had been, no matter how many episodes of “The Wedding Story” that I was forced to sit through… never give an opinion on a wedding dress.

Not a “that’s a nice neckline”… or a “what a stupid looking train”. Nothing.

The truth is that I think most wedding dresses look foolish. Enormous poofy explosions of lace and beads. And wedding makeup? Why is deep sea blue over top of the eye supposed to be attractive? I like my ladies looking like they’ve been in a hockey fight. And wedding hairdos? They all end up looking like an army of hornets have built a summer home in the bride's skull. Wear that to work on Monday and you would be a laughing stock, but today… “belissimo”.

I was “taking one for the team” and would, for all eternity, insist that the dress was a beautiful garment that was etched in my brain for all eternity.

Then I saw my bride.

And everything stopped.

Her appearance knocked me in the throat yet I didn’t really even see it.

If we didn’t have pictures taken, I couldn’t have told you what happened for the rest of the day. All I remember was sporting a goofy grin that I couldn’t shake.



Marriage is sloppy.

It’s messy.

It’s inexact.

It’s blood, sweat and tears.

It’s victory and it’s defeat.

It’s intensely secure and it madningly repetitious

It's truly an adventure that you have the privilege of sharing with your best friend, lover, and mate.

You NEVER know what lies ahead. But when you walk there with her in one arm... and Him on the other... it's a tale that Tolkien couldn't pen.


2 comments:

Matt Vaandering said...

dude, you're great! That was totally poetic and funny. c ya in 1 hour and 20 mins

Notes from the Tall, Dutch Guy said...

The softer side of Dave, seen little, but when shown is hard to forget.
That was beautiful Davey.

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