Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

13 February 2008

So a guy comes up to me and asks, "Can married Christians be "total freaks" in the bedroom?"

I had an excellent MSN chat yesterday with a friend of mine. He's a great guy who does some wonderful work investing in our community and we've developed a pretty good relationship over the last couple of years. He's not a Christian but every now and again we get to have some really cool chats about it.
(He gave me permission to shat our chat BTW)

Dude says:
I've always had a question and never really knew anyone I could ask without sounding bad.. about Christianity..

Dave at Work says:

shoot...I've heard em all

Dude says:
ok, how is sexuality dealt with.. I just can't picture 2 married Christians being total freaks in the bedroom.. I've always been kinda curious about that

Dave at Work says:
really eh? well it's an area that Christians rarely used to speak about

Dude says:


Dave at Work says:
I actually talk about sex quite often when i preach... ha
it shocks some people but it's actually totally liberating sexually in marriage... because you know the other person is not gonna leave you so you've got the perfect context for freedom and sexual exploration

Dude says:

but come on man, can you honestly tell me when some 19 year old girl in a short jean skirt and boobs hanging out walks past you, there is nothing in your head that says "I'd hit it" (for lack of a better phrase.. ) lol

Dave at Work says:

Dude says:

i mean no disrespect

Dave at Work says:
none taken

Dude says:
but we're guys.. we're human.. you know how guys can talk, i think? lol

Dave at Work says:
yeah it's something that's in there... but I also don't think that it's right to act just on impulses. Ya know? Like I alway say (or at least think) "thump thump" when I drive past a pedestrian
i don't' want to hit them... but some twisted thing in my head says it.

Now I'm not saying that this is true for all Christians. Many are pretty repressed folks (because of a messed up Christian culture for alot of years), but marriage is the best context for sexual freedom because you can delve deeper than the surface impulses.

Dude says:
well thanks for answering
I've always been curious

you're the coolest Christian I have met
I'll be the first to admit that I am not a big fan of most Christian's I've met -- no disrespect, but a lot of them seem close minded in some aspects

Dave at Work says:
and MANY are... and it's just as frustrating for me... I'll bet more so
because I'm around them a lot

Dude says:
yeah, i could see that!

There have been people who have posed the question, "are we (the church) answering questions that nobody is asking?". And that's a legit question to ask ourselves. But I think the issue is even a bit deeper.

I think the question is... "are we talking to anyone?" Ha. Are Christians even just being normal people and having real conversations? I'm not sure that even IF WE WERE answering the questions that people were asking... we wouldn't be heard at all! Ha.

Just be normal. Of course Christians have great sex, but there is something that is so anal retentive about the way we handle ourselves that we're (rightfully based on the evidence) thought of as prudes. I don't like being a part of THAT club. God's big, wild and free... THAT'S my God.

And by the way... I'm over-the-moon excited to be a part of a Christian Community that is NOT like that. Freedom House, and the amazing people in it, have taught me something wonderful over the years. I wrote this on the wall in our prayer room.

Church is at 10:30 Sunday. You should come.

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