Unvalentines Day

There are some cultural oddities that I'll give into... just because of the... "why fight it?" factor. But I have great disdain for Valentines Day. I can taste the bile just saying that word.

There is zero basis for Valentines Day. Some commercially cooked up nonsense that has the nerve to tell me when and how I should show love for my wife?

That's amateur. Hackey.

Her: "Tell me you love me"
He:"I love you"
Her:"Mean it you dork"
He:"But you told me..."
Her:"Get out of my face and go fetch me novelty bear"

Make it MEAN something you hacks. Do it up good. So in my house, we celebrate UNVALENTINES DAY. Here's the Unvalentines Day manifesto...

"Unvalentines Day comes but once a year, without warning, 30 days before or 30 days after February 14th"

So throw up your rawk fist if you're feelin' me when I drop this right on Valentines Day. It's not too late. Cancel diner. No couples bowling tonight. Don't go make out at a glow in the dark mini-putt. You can do it.