Follow me here. Thomas Beatie is a transgendered man. He used to be gay female but is now legally male and married to a woman named Nancy.And he's pregnant. With a human. A human baby.
Would you prefer throwing up right now on your computer keyboard... or maybe you'd like to wait a couple of hours and process how horrible this is THEN spend some QUALITY time vomiting?
"Sterilization is not a requirement for sex reassignment, so I decided to have chest reconstruction and testosterone therapy but kept my reproductive rights," he says in the article.
Beatie said he stopped taking his testosterone injections to get pregnant. He claims to have already gone through an ectopic pregnancy.
Beatie, who got pregnant through home insemination, said it was a "life-threatening event" that resulted in the loss of all the embryos (he had triplets) and his right fallopian tube.
Now, his second time getting pregnant, Beatie says the pregnancy is free of complications.
"How does it feel to be a pregnant man? Incredible," he says in the article.
"Despite the fact that my belly is growing with a new life inside me, I am stable and confident being the man that I am."
You choose... I think it will also help if you shower.
This story is not funny whatsoever.