Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

19 March 2008

Funny things that I'm stealing from Matthew Paul Turner

The last couple of days... Matthew Paul Turner has posted some really funny stuff.

First there was "Stuff Christians Like"
Here's my highlights. #60 I laughed 3 individual times (with 10-15 second breaks between) at.

1) That story about how candy canes came to be.
15) Lighthouses
28) Acronyms!
33) Precious Moments
50) Poems written by blind and deaf people
59) Clip art (Nothing doctors up the church bulletin like a little cartoon man holding a sign with the words "Prayer Sunday's Coming!")
60) Fourteen-year old ballerinas dancing to "I Can Only Imagine" (So cute.)

Then yesterday there was "Famous People who dress like Christians"

The "Fellowship Community Non-denominational Bible Church" Pastor

The "Woman's Ministry" Leader

That's awesome Jackson.
Now here's where I steal the idea...

Things Christians Like:

1) Using fake sign language actions to worship
2) Using real sign language in worship
3) Rhythmic Gymnastics (hey banner man... I'm looking in your direction)
4) Starting sermons with, "When I was in Africa..."
5) Orange Drink
6) Felt
7) Sitting in the car, wife waiting, listening to football pre-game.
8) The Elderly
9) The origin of hymns... (Irish drinking song was it? Fascinating)
10) Australia
11) Parking lot exit signs saying, "Now entering the Mission Field"
12) Shaking hands.
13) Singing Christmas Trees
14) Gossip
15) Porn
16) Hoping Bono will do a worship album
17) Thinking that everything peaked at Larry Norman.
18) White people
19) Ties
20) Slightly off inflection (we're a peculiar people) (in the world not of it)
21) ... (speaking of that)... "Not watching THAT show"
22) The first time someone says they have a "word" for you and the paper says Ezekiel 23:20
23) Skipping out on tipping at Swiss Chalet
24) Lying about "getting together for coffee"
25) Tisking Americans

OK... that was fun... now for Famous People who dress like Christians.

Row 2. Stage left. Three seats in. Right beside...

Church Slow pitch team Captain and shortstop

Board member who owns a bus company, lives in a huge house, and complains about how much is being wasted on crayons.

Sunday afternoon for an overworked Methodist Pastor after another 80 hour work week and a half bucket of chicken.

First year Bible College Jr High understudy

Give your own a shot...


Matt Vaandering said...

holy crap that was funny!

Eric said...

Is Jason as funny as Frank Caliendo too?

Renaissance Guy said...

That is really funny stuff. Thanks so much for the laugh.

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