Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

12 May 2008

Crazy Daisy

I don't remember where it came from, but for years my sister Jen has called me "Daisy". It's sort of our thing. Well this was surely a "Crazy Daisy" weekend.

Our mini Mother's Day tradition of late is that me and the kids (who can walk) head off the to the 24 hr Grocery Store Sunday morning and do some Sabbath Shopping. We pick up some fresh baked breakfast and the kids browse the flower selection to pick out what they'd like to present to their Mom. For the second year in a row, Jared and Aislin picked "Crazy Daisies". These wild dyed multi colored flowers. Just like Mother Nature intended.

But the Chicken Pox have hit Camp Carrol like a Lennox Lewis hay maker. Poor Brianna cried almost ALL DAY yesterday and out of that... I've developed a new equation

Screaming child + Marital Squabbles = A crappy Mothers Day

Yes... for me and my mouth it was a "Crazy Daisy" Weekend. My wife and I are pro-fighters. We are not afraid to mix it up with each other. And we're proud of it. I find it astounding (and a pile of horse manure) when I hear about couples who don't fight. Living together with someone leads to conflict over underwear, toothpaste, schedules, church, temperature, friends, farting... etc. Add screaming chicken-pocked kids into the emotional stew and the heat gets turned up.

It's as much a part of marriage as it is a part of life. I love the "Alone" chapter in Blue Like Jazz when Don Miller's Pastor gets him to live with other people who will bug him and get under his skin. It's one of the ways that God spurs us to change as people. When I say something stupid in a marital argument, I learn. Last week a light bulb came on about how poorly I can fight sometimes. I wrote Krissy letter saying sarcastically...

"It's almost as if making you feel bad about yourself DOESN'T help"
Crazy Daisy

That fight was not about what we were actually fighting about. It was (like most) about something deeper. Rob Bell in Sex God says that,

"This is really about that. It's always about something else. Something deeper. Something behind it all"

Krissy and I are in a Covenantal Relationship where no matter what, we've choosen to love each other. We KNOW neither of us are going anywhere. Ever. It gives us the context where we can argue and wrestle issues out with each other... knowing that in the end, we're gonna be in love with each other even more. Arguing about Chicken Pox reveals our heart... forces us to grow... and lets us get closer to each other and God (who has a funny way of speaking to us sometimes).

This actually happened...

After a horrible Mother's Day start, I put the kids in the van to go buy some crappy Crazy Daisies. I knew I needed to remind Krissy that even though we were knee-deep in a Rob Bell "This"... that that the "That" was more important to me. As we shared a "moment" the terrible children's show "Tippi Tales" came on TV. In a moment of silence between us, one of the characters said,

"How could I stay mad at you... I love you"

Hollywood lies about what life looks like... just so you know. This is what real healthy marriage IS.


Anonymous said...

I had a crappy Mother's Day too. And a squabble with my husband and my kids BOTH ticked me off. Finally they all left to go to the playground and I was alone. At first I really liked that because I was mad. But then I called and asked them to come home. We had a great dinner and everyone made up. I believe in real marriages. I believe in real life.

Dave Carrol said...

yeah... we never have the license to be jerks to each other but our inperfections always lead to conflict.... because we're not holy...

but we're working on it! ha

Anonymous said...

Let me just say that after years and years of crappy Mother's Days because someone in my family had refused to deal with the loss of his mother, this year was by far the best Mother's Day I have had in years.

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