Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

6 May 2008

What can't you say around Christians?

Anne Jackson has a very cool blog called FlowerDust. She asked a very interesting question yesterday in this post.

"What is something you feel you can’t say in church, or around other Christians?"

Ironic that in a faith that so values honesty, it's excruciatingly difficult to be real with each other.

Here are few of the responses she got:

  • "I’d rather look like a good Christian than put in the time and effort to actually be one."
  • I currently feel NO connection to God when I pray or read the bible.
  • When I say “I’ll pray for you.” I don’t usually mean it. I have been a Christian for 27 years and I still don’t understand the point of praying.
  • I like to swear. It makes me feel better.
  • Most people I know who claim to follow God are really sucky people who don’t care about anything but themselves and their comfort. It makes me not want to follow their rules.
  • I’m a socialist…and I hate the worship industry.
  • When I’m leading worship, I sometimes think of all 31 flavors of ice cream at Baskin Robbins.
  • “Your 14/15/16/17/18 year old daughter looks like a SLUT in those Abercrombie shirts & jeans. They are too tight & low & her boobs are falling out and her pubic hair is peaking out from the top of her jeans. All the young teenage boys are going crazy and probably older men are lusting after your child - CHILD. Get a Frick’n clue & teach her some modesty or perhaps you yourself are so caught up in the latest fashion that you don’t care if your daughter dresses like a SLUT”
    and no - i’m not an old ugly women that is clueless about life, and yes, this is a good battle to pick.
  • …”stop whining about your awful life and DO something about it - kill yourself, I don’t care, I’m tired of listening to you and taking care of you and being a ’supportive Christian friend’” That’s really bad isn’t it? Yeh, it is.
  • Stop making Christianity a scapegoat for not developing a personality. Quit being judgmental, flaky, egotistical, mean, rude, fake in the name of a God who was none of those things.

Mine is... why won't my friend with his cornucopia of physical problems get healed already? I'm tired of praying for him and he's tired of getting prayed for.

There really are a lot things that we don't understand about how our flesh interacts with the Holy. Sometimes, we're flat out in the wrong. Sometimes God's answer is on the way and should contend for it to come. Sometimes our answer is already looking us square in the eye.

But this song from Paul Coleman has been burning in my head

Here I am
In a river of questions
Can I pour my heart out to a listening ear?
I see this life
Its valley's and mountains
And I think of all the roads that brought me here

I've questioned my reasons
The life I'm living
I've questioned my ability
To judge wrong from right
I've questioned all the things that I've ever called certain
My race, my religion, my country, my mind

But the one thing I don't question is you
You really love me like you say you do

What won't you say around Christians?


Anne Jackson said...

of course it's okay if you post it! thanks for reading...and sharing!

Anonymous said...

Maybe I am weird or malfunctioning, but I will say anything around anyone. What's the point in pretending? Pretending sucks the life out of me. I'd rather be me. God made me this way anyway. Right?

The one thing that ANNOYS the crap out of me, though, is this thing with Christian women (maybe women in general) who think they have to say things like, "we should make a play date for our kids". Why? I don't even like your kids. I don't really like you either. Why make a date? My response is usually, "great! call me" and then I don't give out my number. Grr!


Anonymous said...

Wait a minute. I guess not giving my number out, but saying "great" is pretending. Funny how things look when you write them down. Man! I gotta work on that one.


Dave Carrol said...


"we should get together" is one of those things that makes the "stuff Christians like" list

Eric said...

Cornucopia... good word "brother"! haha

Dave Carrol said...

Ha... yes... a favorite of mine.

It's time... ya know?

Rebecca said...

What won't I say around Christians?

How much I hurt.

Casting Crowns says it nicely:

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong

So I tuck it all away,
like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too

So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Dave Carrol said...

It's funny you know about why we carry some of our own pain around.

It's likely because the church has done such a weak job of caring over the years.

I went to a church once that a guy (now... he was an "out there" kinda fella) showed up on a Sunday morning with a sign that said, "I'm hurting does CHURCH NAME HERE care?" taped to his back. He walked around the church and had lots of fingers pointing at him...

... but i had to wonder. Did they?

Melissa said...

I pretty much avoid having to say anything by going to different churches every week. Right now that works---if it's really all about me and God then getting "plugged in" somewhere (which I'm starting to think is more about bragging rights than ministry sometimes) is somewhat optional, right? :)

Dave Carrol said...

Actually Mellisa... I don't think church IS as much about us and God as it is about the relationships between believers. Us and God happens all the time. I think that much of the purpose of church IS about worshiping together... getting up in each others faces, exposing ourselves to others and being vulnerable... then figuring out how to function as a body.

Being known and knowing each other and being in physical community is very Biblical. Otherwise we're isolated and when we look for someone to lean on in the hard times... there's no one to be found.

Just my thoughts

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