Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

5 May 2008

What do girls do?


Dammit Jim... I'm a doctor not a Learning Channel reality show host!

(OK truthfully I'm actually more reality show host than doctor but play along dern ya)

I just received a horrifying phone call:

Dave's sadistic wife:
What are you doing at lunch today?
Dave:
Reading in park... why?
Dave's sadistic wife:
I need you to go to Toys R Us and get a birthday present for a little girl
Dave:
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Dave's Sadistic Wife:
Moo ha ha ha ha (the laugher got even more maniacal than a simple moo ha ha can communicate)


How am I supposed to know what to buy a little girl? I am just now after nearly a decade of marriage BEGINNING to understand what 1 of the 300 billion woman on this planet really wants. And I'm hit and miss on that girl too.

And it doesn't matter age either. Toddler, teen, bride, wife, mother... I'm 0 for 5 so far. History, and a chorus of male amens tells me that I'll still be piecing it together when we both ARE and EAT wrinkled prunes.
"You want to spend today planting what in where????"


It's a proven fact that 78% of Youth planning meetings revolve around this question, "What do girls do?". Barna says so. Here is a conversation I've had 189 times,

Dave: We could play basketball
Girl leader: The girls won't do that
Dave: We could go to the Jays game?
Girl leader: Girls won't like it
Dave: What if we...
Girl leader: THE GIRLS WON'T LIKE IT BIG EAR!!!!

The best answer that I have come up with so far is... they talk. Remember Chatty Cathy?



"Just pull the ring... you never know what she'll say next"
Exactly Mr 50's announcer. You hit the nail on the head. These are the original phrases Miss Chatty used to say, waaaaaaaaaay back in the "dinosaur" 50's

  • Do you love me?
  • Give me a kiss
  • Please brush my hair
  • I hurt myself
  • Will you please play with me?
  • Let's play house
  • I'm hungry
  • Please take me with you
  • I'm sleepy
  • Will you change my dress?

This is STILL the basic rotation of what girls say today!


"Creepy girls"
Beaver Cleaver





2 comments:

candidchatter said...

Unisex help:
Bowling
Skating
Movies

Girls like:
Malls
Boys
Gum
Phones
Shoes
Purses

Little girls like:
Dolls
Animals
Crafts
Pretend Play

Your wife likes:
Jewelry
Flowers
A nice dinner
Professional Massage
To be listened to and taken seriously
Compliments

You're welcome! You can leave my tip in the tip jar. Thanks.

Heidi

Dave Carrol said...

Maybe it's just that guys don't really want to hear what girl do.

Although... I like gum and movies!

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