Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

21 July 2008

Free Wife = Happy Life

"She’s a fox. In French, she would be called ‘la Renard’ and she would be hunted with only her cunning to protect her"
Wayne Campbell

My wife gets foxier and foxier each year. When I was in my teens and 20's I figured, according to my calculations, life really began at 30. Krissy and I are now both 31 and I'm quite sure I was right.

Over the years... my wife has got freer and freer. In every which way. There's a line in Derek Webb's new song "I wanna marry you all over again" that says, "I wanna read the Bible and I wanna make out". When we started dating, she was 18 years old. I was a 19 year old new Christian. I was puzzled that I found Krissy the most attractive while she worshiped. At first I was sure that this was living proof of my true lunacy. But it's only gotten worse over the years.

Turns out... the freer my wife gets... the foxier she gets. Husbands, back in the day were really missing out. Back when arrogant insecure men had their wives under their thumb and Lorded verse like...

Eph 5:23-24
For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

... THAT over them. I remember trying to justify this seemingly antiquated concept during pre-marital counselling too. But that verse ONLY makes sense when you follow it up with the next bit of Ephesians 5...

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage.

No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That's how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh." This is a huge mystery, and I don't pretend to understand it all

No kidding this is a mystery. But what I've found is that IT'S MY JOB to love and RELEASE my wife to become a freedom monster. Everything I do is "designed to bring the best out of her". I'm quite literally doing myself a favor in ways that can be blogged about... and lots that can't. The submission from v24 becomes a very natural pleasure.

My, now 31 year old wife, is just getting warmed up in life. She's passionate, skilled, gifted, and gorgeous. You better watch out, because she's gonna change the world in her next 31 years.


Melissa said...

super sweet post. Does your wife have a blog?

Dave Carrol said...


No she's not the blogger type. She only reads mine when I let her know there something she'll find really interesting!

She'd say... "and I have time to blog with 3 young kids how?" Ha...

But I made sure she read this one!

Brian said...

I loved this post, I think it's true I have been married 16 years and it just changes, goes deeper. Here's to foxes!!!!

Dave Carrol said...

Thanks Brian. It's funny how quickly we expect results in life and even in marriage you know? We're in a rush.

When sometimes it's just TIME passing and releasing each other that fuses you together.

Love your ibiza blog by the way

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