Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

30 September 2008

Dave rants about the economy for Phil McColeman

I personally support Phil McColeman who is running for the Conservative Party of Canada in the upcoming federal election. You can check out my blog yesterday for my disclaimer about why I speak out for who I support.

And frankly... I just wouldn't be me if I didn't say out loud what I see and believe to be true. So this year... I've done it in "rant" form. This is the first of three rants between now and October 14th.

Please feel free to repost this video on your blog or on your facebook wall should you feel the same as I do. You can check Phil's facebook fan page here or his website here for more info.

29 September 2008

The Friday Night Fights

Friday night we had a Men's Night at the Big Blue House where most of the guys watched Ultimate Fighting Something. My really good friend Steve / "Brimstone" (as he was known back in his wrestling days... which were awesome days BTW) is starting an excellent men's program at Freedom House and thankfully allowed me (and a few other political nerds) to bail on the fist punching to watch the tongue punching that McCain and Obama gave each other Friday night.

I find the political positioning dance really interesting. It's somewhat stomach churning sure... but there is so much strategy involved that I'm always engaged. This was my buddy Jamie's facebook status after the debate...

I laughed when I saw it because it was pretty darn true. For the life of me I can't understand a policy of not talking to people you disagree with. Seems pretty... well... stupid to me. But on the other side of the coin I listened to Obama called Iran "terrorists", heard his plans to FINALLY help Canada (although he only mentioned European countries) in Afghanistan, and was really thrilled to hear that he wants to attack Pakistan soon. Oh goodie. Let's just say that neither man is touting a passive resistance defence plan. This is what I wrote in response to Jamie's FB status...

We debuted a new feature at Freedom House on Sunday called "Hot Topics" where I chat with a couple of people in the church about things making the news these days. You can check out this week's podcast at the Freedom House Blog if you want hear it... but we chatted about how deeply Christians should be involved in politics. One University Political Science Grad talked about Christians creating a counter culture outside of a flawed system that was somewhat along the lines of Shane Claiborne's Jesus of President. Brian found that to be a fairly Utopian position and argued that we need to influence our current system of governance.

The reality is that both are right. It's a messed up system and it nearly hurts to hear our painfully imperfect man-plans to solve deep issues of human suffering. Humans will always feel that something is missing without God in our mix. We'll never feel "right" without being connected to our creator. Still one of my favorite verses in the Bible is Colossians 1:27

"To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory."

I vote. And I care about political systems because I believe in people. I believe that people can be moved with compassion for their fellow man. I believe that God put in ME the hope of glory that I'm then asked to share with others by showing kindness! Being GOOD. I support political systems that facilitate the empowerment of the individual and I'll speak out about it too. Soon on my blog I'm going to share some videos I made in support of my local candidate whom I support. Not because he's perfect... but because I think his political philosophy best facilitates a healthy country and a healthy, equipped individual.

But I won't ever be fooled into believing that a system or party IS the hope of glory.
I know where hope resides.
In me.
In you.
From Him.

28 September 2008

Even David Crowder knows that Jesus is like a Mountie... ZAP!

If you're a part of Christendom and have access to this so-called-INTER-NET... you've likely seen Sonseed's "Jesus is my Friend". It's got it all. Foxy Backup Singers... A hard rockin' Lead Guitar player, cuttingly sharp lyrics... it's the whole package baby.

I found the blog of guy who introduced the clip to the internet at a blog called "dougspoitation". He had a mysterious homemade videotape of his Sonseed heros and was on a mission to find out more. So he tracked down "Sal" the lead singer of Sonseed and did an interview with him! Turns out... they were a Catholic Band on multi-denominational show on WNBC in New York where priests and rabbi's would normal debate issues. Sonseed was the first musical act they'd ever had! What a kickoff! Best revelation is that Sal married Olive the organist! She could wail. Sadly... they are no long together. Oh the times we live in where even crazy cats like these 2 can't stick it out.

But my favorite "Jesus is my friend" moment so far is that this phenomenon has now spread right into the trendiest of the trendy churches. David Crowder closed out a service at his home church with it! Yes sir... this is awesome.


I admittedly think too much about things... but what an impact You Tube and Web 2.0 is having on society in every way. I feel another blog coming about this. Maybe next week's "Hot Topics" at FH.

27 September 2008

You Googled WHAT and found me?

1. "where can i buy it stays bum glue for gymnastic leotards in Victoria"

You must be asking because "Bill's bum glue" on 41st went out of business. Well, long story short... but Bill's bum glue is now Big Billy's Bum Glue" on 3rd Ave. Go there for all your bum glue needs.

2. "tshirt i'm horney"

You think my wife would let me out of the house with a I'm horny t-shirt? The first week we were dating I came home to find her in my bedroom with my Mom throwing out my old jeans that had holes in them. No dice on the t.

3. "what a horrible night to have a curse"

This sounds like the third sentence of a Steven King novel.

"It was a dark and stormy night. I finished waltz with the possessed toaster and gave it my hungry eyes as we scurried off together to take a bubble bath. What a horrible night to have a curse."

4. "volleyball players on steroids"

Hulk spike ball. Hulk dive for dig. Hulk use bum glue from Big Billy's...

5. "sweet +bulah land concert tickets"

Dude I scored me some sweet tickets to Beulah land... you know brother... like from Isaiah 62 in the KJ???

"Thou shalt no more be termed Forsaken; neither shall thy land any more be termed Desolate; but thou shalt be called Hephzibah and thy land Beulah; for the LORD delighteth in thee, and thy land shall be married."

You know... Beulah land??? sweet seats... Bueller...

6. "storm make tree falls on house"

Testify sister...next

7. "obama eating melons"

Somewhere on ebay, someone's selling the melon rinds from this whole melon eating incident. Lotta nerve... eating melons... reveling in the melon-afterglow... and all the while John McCain is off solving the nation's gigantic financial problems. For shame you melon muncher you...

8. "lost prophets start something"

Hmm... that could be fun. Ezekiel started cooking with cow manure. You could start something like that again? Just a suggestion. Trying to be helpful.

9. "have you ever reflected on a situation and wish if i knew then what i know now"

Heck yes I have... I would have been MUCH more careful with my Alf bouillabaseball cards if I had ANY idea that the show would be gone that quickly. So sad. Fish Baseball? I really thought it would catch on.

10. "finding jesus in the homeless ontario"

Hmm... I've yet to meet Jesus. But I've met a guy who looks A LOT like Gandolf

11. "flinstone olympic flag"

I'll bet that when it's flown... all of Bedrock has a "gay old time". I just like saying that.

12. "fruit genitalia"

Wow porn searching is strange. You're in a deep dark hole there Billy.
XXXChurch.com... PLEASE... before you go to another supermarket!!!! Do it for shoppers and produce hounds everywhere.

13. "dionbook"

And now introducing Dionbook. It's incredibly expensive... too confusing for anyone to understand... written in perfect gibberish... and you'll likely loose your job just by reading it. New from Random House.

14. "do anyone win money at brantford casino"

No Cleatus... nobody do. Do something better with your nickels OK?

15. "dumbo daves ears"

You don't think they were ACTUALLY looking for me do you?

16. "cfl video game"

It could never happen could it? The Rouge is too complex to write into code.

17. "women that have a poo then make sandwiches"


...I got nothing.

26 September 2008

The man who made prayer mean something to me kind of died the other day

I woke up this morning to find a really sad Facebook status update from my friend Emmanuel Dogbevi... a journalist in Accra Ghana

Raph was one of my teachers at the Torchbearers Misson in Accra Ghana. He taught us about intercessory prayer and spiritual warfare like no one we'd ever heard. But it was more than that... Raph was the first person to make prayer MEAN something to me... because he DID "the stuff".

Let me explain...

I say this with all due respect and in a complimentary way... Torchbearers was an organization of nobodies. Everyone in Ghana has 4 names and 3 titles in front of those names. I used to joke with my missionary hero's about their mythical titles. "Reverend, Doctor, Pope, Raph Zinnah" we'd call him. He'd give us a quiet giggle not entirely sure if we were being sarcastic or not. Man given titles meant nothing to my friends.

Raph (second from the right) along with Sammy (center) used to run a radical prayer team. Prayer groups in North American often consist of a few old ladies locked in a church Sunday School Room. Their prayer team spent nights in the city of Accra, hearing what the Spirit of God would have them do... and then doing it.

They would clean out neighborhoods. They would identify the Juju shrines, prostitution houses, and other places of ill-repute and would shut them down and wash 'em clean... through prayer. It the effective, fervent prayer of righteous men in action. And it worked. Until then... I didn't ever quite understand why my prayers seemed to be more "I hope this happens... YOU take care of it OK? I'm gonna go over here now". These guys DID THE STUFF you read about in the Bible. Because they meant it... and WORKED at it with their time, energy and passion.

There were things initially almost tough to believe... until I began doing it myself. A couple of years ago I mustered up the faith to cover a palm reader's business in oil every morning and prayed daily that God shut the place down. And He did. I only had the faith to even try it because of Raph and his prayer team going first.

We heard about how fasting worked into the equation. Fasting up until that point was a lip service courtesy that we would "chip in" a few days without TV here and there. Raph was the first person I'd ever met who ACTUALLY fasted often as a part of a lifestyle of prayer and used it as a tool to be more effective in the spiritual realm. Raph had ACTUALLY fasted for 40 days and told us that we COULD do the same. I barely believed him... until I did it a few years ago.

We heard stories about the dead being raised. Often. Raph kept quiet in this department for a while. Krissy asked him about it one day, if he'd ever been a part of a resurrection. He, nearly sheepishly as not to be prideful about it, told her the story of a newborn who had died a tragic death... whom he prayed for... and began breathing again. No fanfare. No cameras. No headbutts. Just real, raw, prayer from a nobody who was a giant in the spirit.

One Sunday, Raph took the hour long drive to Ashaiman to our church with us to preach. He said this quote that I wrote in the front of my Bible that day.

"Most of our problems are not because of the presence of evil, but the absence of good"
Raphael Zinnah

It caught me by surprise because we had just spent months listening to the tales of demon fighting, spiritual warfare, and all night Juju wrestling matches! But this is the message of what prayer is and what it releases. It's good because it release He who IS good. Not the quality of goodness. He who IS good itself... to spread goodness. Psalm 23:6 says...

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Raph, since we left him in 2000, started a church... got married... had kids... and continued to do good. He was a nobody who traded the accolades of the earth for the treasures stored in heaven. I have a hard time feeling truly sad about death. It might be to my discredit how little I actually feel about death and it will likely be confronted in me when someone really close to me dies. But Raph's death and life are the story of a hero who today is reaping a hero's reward in heaven.

Raph died the other day... but only kind of. I'm part of his fruit (but only a small part). I've told many about him who have been inspired to do things he had the faith to do. His faithfulness and boldness have made ripples in the kingdom of God. Most of those Raph helped to change likely never knew Raph because much of what he did was done in prayer. What a wonderful day Raph is likely having today. I'm happy for him.

25 September 2008

Ned Pineda... the last secret supporter of Superman underoos

A listener of my radio station just dropped off a t-shirt with THIS on it.

I was asked... "Do you want it?"
I replied... "A random bald man talking about underoos? ABSOLUTELY!"

Remember when you were a kid and it was only Underoos that had stuff like Spiderman or Superman on them? Now you'd be hard pressed to find a pair of tighty whiteys for a kid. How come Diego has to be on everything?

I have absolutely no point here. You weren't looking for insight about life from a blog post called "Ned Pineda... the last secret supporter of Superman underoos" were you?

24 September 2008

The Message IS the Message

The thing about Random Acts of Kindness that is VITAL to remember when it comes to Evangelism... is that you can't forget perspective.  

You can never forget that doing good things is not what makes the difference when push comes to shove.  Not for you... and not for those who you're doing good for. Random Acts of Kindness are the medium.  Jesus is the message.  

Marshall Mcluhan was wrong when it comes to Evangelism.  The Message is the Message.  The medium is simply the medium.  Mediums are interchangeable and disposable.  The Message rocks the Kazbah.  It's a liberating, somewhat offensive, breath of freedom.  

Many argue the fairness of such a policy.   But it's a shortsighted argument.  It's the kind of JUST that makes Kings and Paupers equals.  

22 September 2008

Merry Snipsmas!

My brother asked me the other day what to get a guy for "Snipsmas"? I suggested heaps of cash... but settled for frozen peas. But since I can't use legal tender to purchase anything from my bedroom... peas have been more valuable today.

What an interesting day. It's not everyday that you have slice of your reproductive tract removed! My procedure was actually delayed at the hospital because both of the urology nurses knew me. Thankfully, they have a policy that you don't get to look at the junk of those you know. So my friend from elementary school and the mother of some of the kids I used to be a youth leader for... were spared my nervous operating table ramblings and a peep at my vas deferens

My Doctor was a great guy. After he showed me the 2 large sections of my testicular-innards that now live in a petri cup... I marveled at how much he actually took out!

"Gotta make sure there are no jumpers? Like the Dukes of Hazard over the bridges?" I asked. We talked about the Dukes, Rosco, and Boss Hogg for a while, then he told me about practising medicine in Kentucky where there was actually a Hazzard County nearb by! See now THAT's some kickin' bedside manor. My kinda urologist!

Best vasectomy line so far comes from my friend Dwayne...

Dude, did you get the... snippage? Let me tell you the touching story of a 60 year old Iranian Urologist with fat fingers, and a tender young newfie with too many kids...

... follow shortly after my brother's invention of "Snipsmas". I think it's the word "tender" that clinched the deal for me. Any takers?

Bottom line for me so far is that it was all very easy. Not a lot of pain... unless you count constant dull throbbing pain... pain. Just kidding, I'll be powerlifting and dog sledding again by the morning. Just lots of laying around, defrauding the frozen veggies, popping Tylenol 3's and re watching season 1 of Lost (remembering a simpler time).

I think I'll do this again sometime

21 September 2008

Baseball is a whole lot more expensive than it used to be

4 tickets + Gas + Parking + 45 dollars of crappy ballpark lunch + snacks + babysitter = The bleak realizaton that baseball with the family is REALLY REALLY expensive.

But my little girl made it through the whole game. She walked away with blue teeth from a slushy, an already broken Roy Halliday Bobblehead, and the memory of a day sitting on Daddy's lap at the ballpark.

So I'm happy.
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18 September 2008

PLEASE call it beer and popcorn money again! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

Ken Dryden was in Brantford yesterday, likely speaking in a slow, droning voice about Stephane Dion's proposed 1.25 billion dollar child care program... and reminding us why Canadian's shouldn't be trusted with our own money. From today's Brantford Expositor:

The difference is no more stark than in the area of early learning and child care, said Dryden.

He spent the bulk of his time extolling the virtues of a $1.25-billion national child-care program that was unveiled by Liberal Leader Stephane Dion in a campaign stop earlier in the day in Kitchener.

The program, which would result in 165,000 new child-care spaces across Canada, is a refined and enlarged version of one introduced by Dryden, while he was minister of Social Development during the former Paul Martin minority government.

It was quickly thrown out by the incoming Stephen Harper government in 2006, and replaced with a monthly $100 a child credit, which parents can spend as they see fit.

Dryden said the Tory program does not address in any way the real problems of affording proper day care or creating any new spaces. "Whatever money it is, it has done zero for early learning and child care," he said.

Ultimately, said Dryden, the Liberal program is about giving a child a decent chance at a good future.

Zero for childcare and giving kids a descent chance at a good future eh? See you're in luck Kenny because I'm the exact person that is benefiting that extra 100 dollars a month. Programs like this have made it possible for my wife to not HAVE to back to work. We get to give our kids the blessing of spending their early years with their parents!

You'll remember this issue from 2006 right? The Beer and Popcorn?

Don't give people 25 bucks a day to blow on beer and popcorn. Give them child-care spaces that work."
Former PM Paul
Martin's communications director, Scott Reid,

Best... quote... ever.

Well two years down the road and I have to admit that every couple of months my wife and I will buy a four pack of microwave popcorn at a total of 5 bucks. So that's 30 bucks a year... so 60 dollars in 2 years on popcorn. Guilty as charged. My beer consumption is noticeably less than 30 bucks a year. Sorry Scotty.

In the diaper department however... it's a different story. I'd add up how much we've had to spend on poop bags but I think I'd cry right here and now. I don't make a high on the hog salary as a radio writer, neither did my wife as a social service worker. We both help lead a church for nothing, give to many areas of need, and are active members in our community. Frankly... it's not a good financial decision and is very difficult to afford having one spouse at home raising our kids during their formative years. But we do it anyway. Because it's of value to us... and many other Canadians too.

But WHAT an investment in families. I believe in the philosophy of get free, live free, free others. I believe that our families should be given the chance to be healthy and when they are... that family now has the responsibility to pay it forward and help take care of those who need to get on their feet. I'd trust a healthy, free, family investing in their community that they care about more I'd trust a bureaucratic government program to.

Just sayin'.

17 September 2008

Taking the Random out of Random Acts of Kindness

I'm re-reading Steve Sjogren's book called "Conspiracy of Kindness". He's one of the guys who popularized the term "Random Acts of Kindness". He talks about a form of evangelism and outreach called "Servant Evangelism" that is SO easy and SO effective that a lobotomized monkey groomer's assistant could do it.

It's easy. You do something nice to someone else. Revolutionary eh?

It almost seems TOO simple. In fact it's so simple that this idea used to make me skeptical about it's ACTUAL effectiveness. But the methods talked about in Conspiracy of Kindness are also very Strategic, Holy Spirit led, and utilize people's specific giftings (which is so important).

This 5min short film was an award winner at the 2008 Cannes Film. It's called "The Story of a Sign". Give a view before continuing reading... (if you're reading this as a Facebook Note you'll need to click through to the blog)

Very well done. It made my mind go down a few different paths.

I know a lot people vilify him… but I love Bill Gates. Yes he makes money off his “creative capitalism” ideas as do Bono's business partners in his “Red” program… but they are using what they have and who they are to help. The businessman in this short film WAS “moved with compassion” and solved a problem using his gifting... which in this case was NOT dropping a Loonie in the cup or buying a sandwich.

Often those who are “called” to the business or the white collar world won’t even take a peek into the streets because they can use their gifting more effectively and find satisfaction elsewhere. There would be very little personal fulfillment in scooping soup. And while there CAN BE an arrogance to that… it’s also our (church leadership's) problem, in that we haven’t fully explored and released people with different passions to solve different problems.

Business Boy’s use of his “gifting” then RELEASED people with a “giving gifting” to be generous because it helped the need been noticed.

Random Acts of Kindness are best used when they are more like Intentional Acts of Service. It lets those with a passion to serve... serve. It lets those who are comfortable talking... talk. It lets the intercessors... pray. It lets the strategist... plan. And then the actual act of outreach combines hearing God with the activation of this wonderfully, simple, powerful principle:

Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?
Romans 2:4

Tonight at Freedom House, we're hanging out watching the movie "Pay it Forward" as we begin to walk down a cool new road of intentional servant evangelism. If you're in the Brantford area you should stop by.

16 September 2008

Undeniable proof that God is real

Because after living through a decade of THIS

and THIS...

there are still churches open. If Church was a passing fad... it would have passed on like the New Kids on the Block. Oh wait... what do you mean they're back?

Sometime I don't know how the church made it out alive. My friend Matthew Paul Turner is about to release a new book called " Churched: One Kid’s Journey Towards God Despite a Holy Mess" in which he shares his often humorous journey growing up "in the church". I'm looking forward to it because:

  1. I'm getting a book to give away on my blog... so you could win a copy!
  2. There is so much that we now 30-something church kids shared. Bizarre lines of discussion that led to a generation wanting to know a God... who was made to seem like a deranged mental hospital escapee sometimes.

These are quotes from"Churched" from an early review

"For a fundamentalist, spotting sin was like going to Disney World.” And after enduring the yelling of a Sunday school teacher, Matthew ends the story with, “That’s when I began seeing a therapist.”

On Sunday school: “I was trained in Sunday school to spot the Devil. My teachers told me to watch out for roaring lions, disgruntled angels, women wearing low-cut blouses, and Billy Graham.”

On his pastor: “Pastor Nolan’s sermons were cruel and unusual punishment for people who had imaginations, sensitive eardrums, or someplace better to be.”

And, on movies: “A few months later Pastor Nolan proved my mother’s theory about Hollywood correct. Or at least, he supported it. He preached to my junior church class and told us that it didn’t matter if a person went to see a porn movie or Bambi, all of the money eventually trickled down to fund people who made the X-rated stuff. I didn’t know what pornography was, but the way Pastor Nolan described it, I was pretty sure miniskirts were involved.”

Honestly. The fact that we're still throwing our hands up this Sunday is UNDENIABLE proof that God is real.

15 September 2008

Strategic Risk

I'll say it again: Time is a currency.

A few nights ago, I actually lay awake thinking about what my Google Calender looks like and trying to find more time in the week. As I dozed off, in a brief minute of delusion, I thought I had discovered a way to create more time in a day. Lamentably... I was wrong.

"Early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise'
Ben Franklin

According to my extensive research into the human condition... I've come to the determination that 72% of human feelings are completely unwarranted, lead to a whole lot of wasted time, and we could do without them entirely.

***NOTE These stats are entirely an exaggerated fabrication of Dave's mind on rant... use with care***

We waste A LOT of time feeling offended or hurt or slighted or sad or tired or weak for no reason whatsoever. Time is limited. You only have so much of it. It's currency. Do you want to spend it on THAT??

I have no interest in being a quiet person. I want to be involved in everything and succeed at all of it. I plan to influence my home, my church, the political spectrum, the culture, my city, my country and beyond. And I quite literally don't have the time to fritter on things that don't accomplish this. I don't think I'll rent any more movies. Ha! On Saturday night we AGAIN rented a movie only to run out of time to watch it... and then run out of time to return on time.

But to be a person of influence... it involves "Risk". We're beginning a series at Freedom House about"Risk" that I'm really looking forward to. It can be such a tricky thing to take a risk in life... because the outcome is not pre-determined and it's relatively easy to get burned acting on risky ventures.

Check out this AMAZING poem by Mother Theresa:

People are unreasonable, illogical, self-centered... love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives ... do good anyway.
If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies... be successful anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow... do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable... be honest and frank anyway.
People love underdogs but follow only top dogs... follow some underdog anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight... build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you try to help... help people anyway.
If you give the world the best you have, you may get kicked in the teeth... but give the world the best you have anyway.
Mother Theresa

My question is, who would kick a nun in the teeth? That's some kinda stones right there.

But I don't want to take kicks in the teeth for foolishly risked, misspent time. If I'm gonna get hoofed in the teeth (and I have and will again) it better be for something important and by my choosing. My pastor believes that...

"This century belongs to dreamers, strategists and risk takers"
Brian Beattie

... and I agree with him. The 3 are not divergent thoughts. They are complimentary. There is strategy involved in risk-taking. Maybe I'll get Costanza to share with me his views on "Risk Management" sometime, but from where I stand, "Risk" is currency as well. When you're taking a risk with the investment of your time, you should be a "sower"; not a "scatterer". Know what you're doing beforehand... be prepared to get kicked in the teeth like a nun...

... and risk anyway.

14 September 2008

I miss Punta Cana this morning

We were supposed to have an outdoor service later today in Harmony Square but what's left of Ike is gonna drop a rain bomb on Brantford.

So it's an indoor recess today. I miss the beach.
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12 September 2008

I'm now in hour 31 of 45 sleepless hours

I could use a Jolt Cola. I wonder if they make it in diet?

"Diet Jolt Cola... all the flavor... twice the caffeine... none of the calories... with a new elk aftertaste!"

They told me I couldn't... work twice... spend time with the family... host a TV show... do a prayer meeting and run an all night street BBQ... WITH NO SLEEP.

Time will tell indeed Fictina. Hope I don't pass out on the grill at 2am. Although... I DO get pretty loose lipped when I hit the 40 hour mark without sleep. I might be a wild party tonight.

Best line from last night's Nite Lite...

Caller: "If I came to your church, would it be OK I was a musician kind of Christian instead of a ritual killing kind of Christian?"
Me: Why yes. That would be better.

Oh yeah... and thing that's made me laugh the hardest today... this is Democratic VP to be Joe Biden yesterday

Chuck's in wheelchair.
Chuck ain't gettin' up
Stand up for Chuck.

11 September 2008

Hey what are you doing between 2 and 4:30am tonight?

If your answer is "Well Dave... I plan to drink 8 cups of coffee and stay up to watch live Christian Call-in Television"... you're in luck.
Cus I'll be co-hosting the show for the first time in about 8 years.

When I got back from Ghana, I got a job directing and hosting this very rare show. It's literally 2 and a half hours of live, coast to coast, commercial free, call in, unscripted television. Throwback TV gigs like that don't come around very often. I hosted Nite Lite every Monday night with my brother for a year. We called in the "Monday Night Nite Lite Extravaganza"

We fielded calls everywhere from a man who thought he was Ezekiel and claimed to be coming back to earth via the Mortal Kombat video game... to a lady who wanted the recipe for Myrrh so she could bathe in it like Esther. We had people send us novelty toys that cursed (Cussin' Gus) and sharp yellow dress shirts. We had our hotmail addresses hacked and ate regularly at an all-night Burger King. It was a blast.

We also got to chat with a whole lot of people who couldn't sleep for various reasons. Marriage breakups. Faith crisis's. Stewing about "that one thing". You know "that one thing". It's the thing that makes you stare at the ceiling for hours. "That one thing" that you just have to get off your chest. That's what makes Nite Lite cool. You're the smile on TV during a long dark night who you can actually talk to. It's been a long time between shows for me and I'm looking forward to talking with ya. You should call.

If you do watch and you've got a comment... leave a message here on the blog or email me

10 September 2008

What's a "Urologist"?

 Tomorrow I have an appointment with something called a "urologist". Which begs the question... What's a urologist? Help me out Dictionary.com. 

Hmmm...OK... simple enough.  So what's urology? 

u·rol·o·gy  [yoo-rol-uh-jee] 
the scientific, clinical, and esp. surgical aspects of the study of the urine and the genitourinary tract in health and disease.

Hmmm... I understand "urine" but what's the gena-something-or-other???

Pardon me Billy but what a genital? 

Gen"i*tals\, n. pl. [From Genital, a.: cf. L. genitalia.] The organs of generation; the sexual organs; the private parts.

PRIVATE PARTS???  That I understand. So you're telling me that I'm going to the wee wee doctor tomorrow?  Holy schmokes.  Pray for  me Billy.  Pray like you've never prayed before.  

9 September 2008

Silly little political monkey poo flingers

If you have any poo, fling it now
Mason the Chimpanzee (Madagascar)

I wonder if there is any way that we could all not be so offended about politics? We've been through this process before. Let me put on my Carnac hat and tell you what's about to happen.

  1. Mr Blue will say something he means, believing it will help the country.
  2. Mr Red will disagree vehemently and fling poo at Mr Blue.
  3. Mr Blue will say, "oh yeah?" and fling poo back.
  4. Mr Red and Mr Blue will spend a month flinging poo from a bottomless pile of donor funded poo.
  5. Mr. Red and Mr. Blue will both pretended to be outraged to be covered in poo.
  6. You will go off on a "can't we all just get along" rant... "when will the poo flinging stop???" You'll say.
  7. Mr Blue will win the election... shake Mr. Red's hand... wink... knowing that the monkey dance was all part of the deal. No hard feelings.
  8. You'll have hard feelings.

What to learn from the parable of Mr. Blue and the flinging of poo? Don't take the poo so seriously. The Conservatives have launched a website called Notaleader.ca. It's terrific. From CTV.ca:

The slick site notaleader.ca contains such features as a"Dion excuse generator" where users can send an email to a friend using a Dion quote, such as "I didn't get it done", as an excuse.

The site is a mix of flash and html applications that give users the opportunity to:

  • Create and share their own campaign ads,
  • Play a Liberal policy gambling game,
  • Visit the "Dionbook," a Facebook knock-off,
  • Engage in street debating - a mixture of Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter
  • Get campaign updates on the NAL (not a leader) news site

Early Tuesday the site featured a puffin flying across the screen, pooping on Dion's shoulder. But it was quickly removed after reporters mentioned it during the Tuesday news conference.

AWESOME! Tech nerdship at it's finest. Outraged are you? Oh gimme a break Beavis. I'll bet you've laughed at Bush speech blunders on YouTube... or played that punch Bin Laden in the face internet game. It's a song and dance. Stephane Dion was mad though... Oooooo:

Dion dismissed the site and vowed that he will take the high road in the election campaign.

"This is saying more about them than about us," said Dion on Tuesday. He added: "I want to clarify my answer -- not about them, about him, because I know most Conservative voters will disagree with that and they may change their vote."

And because he's taking the "high road"... the Liberals launched scandalpedia.ca... a wiki ripoff telling all about the Conservative's "scandals". Awesome. Frankly I think that the point goes to Big Blue on this one for creativity.

It's a democracy dance. No one on the inside is getting hurt in this dance. It's actually much like a hockey fight where after it's done, both combatants walk away with black eyes, "good gaming" each other, and patting each other heterosexually on the butt over a well fought campaign. It will only hurt you if you let it. It may be time to not get so hurt by all this and look at it from a fresh perspective.

Use the flung poo. Listen to the poo. Then dig through the poo and find what the candidates are really saying. Of course we all just wish that modern democracy could be done without poo... but it appears not. So instead of wishing Mr Dion would scrub down before talking... just take a big ole sniff. Poo or no poo... voting is important. The reason poo is being flung is because the candidates believe different things. What do you believe?

8 September 2008

Dang I write a lot of bra ads

I honestly do. It's one the business types that loves to advertise on my radio station. I've written A LOT of bra ads over the years.

-I've been to the bra stores.
-I've tried to get inside of the mind of an upscale bra wearer.
-I've written dialogue between women discussing the bra world.
-I know about the custom fitting
-I know how the best "certified fit consultants" can tell your breast size best through the "hands on" method.
- I know that 85% of woman are wearing the wrong sized bra. While I don't know first hand what this feels like... if 85% percent of people were wearing the wrong sized pants... that would be uncomfortable.

But I just set a record for the bra ad advertising the Largest cup size. An "L Cup". I had no idea that such a storied cup actually existed. In fact... I even shared the information during my MC gig of the "Brantford Rocks" Festival. As I did, a jive-talkin' teen looked up at me and said, "that's a hell of a cup". Agreed jive talkin' teen. Agreed.

Most bra stores advertise very poorly (as if anyone cares). This is what I just wrote for this client. I hope they go for it. It will be my best bra ad ever.

(Kids going wild in the background)

Busy Mom: Between diaper changes and making peanut butter sandwiches… oh wait… peanuts are bad now… ham sandwiches… I’ll NEVER be able to make a SPECIFIC bra fitting appointment. Are you kidding me??? So my choices are “A” go to S****** where EVERYONE in the store can fit me perfectly on MY schedule… or “B”… walk around town hanging out of a department store bra. I’m going with “A”. THESE girl need proper support.

(kids cry)

Busy Mom: Lord knows THIS girl does.

Announcer: ******… Sizes “A”through “L”. … any time you’re ready.

God Bless you bras. I've enjoyed your work for many years.

7 September 2008

My friend Keith

My friend Keith has set up a new blog that you should really follow here. Keith fascinates me. He's the exception to many rules.

Keith is a born and raised Presbyterian who encountered Jesus, alone, by watching 100 Huntley Street... because of intellectual curiosity. So to learn more... he wandered down the street, by himself, to the radical blue church.

He came to one of my young adult services... was completely confused... but was totally intrigued as he quickly began to find himself interacting with the God of the Book.

Keith heard God this summer and is about to get in his car this week and drive. As far South as he can go. I told him he HAD to blog his way through this AMAZING God-trip. His first post yesterday has one of the most profound descriptions of our relationship with God that I've ever heard.

I read this and could have sworn it was from a CS Lewis book or something:

Increasingly my existence is qualified by a mysterious connection of my heart to a supernatural entity that is forever outside of my comprehension and that I fumble to describe. I’ve never seen it and can’t explain it, but it exerts incredible force on a part of me, and in a way which, I don’t understand. But there is intelligence and compassion in it: life. . . personality. It has gained my trust and won my love, even returning it a thousand-fold. It has shown me truth and revealed His face.
Keith Cripps

I'm so proud of Keith. I really take a LOT of joy out of seeing people "get free, live free, free others". His post-baptism sparkler dance will be a picture that forever sticks in my mind.

6 September 2008

Microsoft Strikes Back

This is a terrific branding ad for Microsoft. REALLY good.

I'm going to call this ad... "We're cool too". One day... I just want to see "PC" lean over and give "Mac" a wedgie. Wipe that smarmy smirk of his trendy little face.

5 September 2008

Phil Joel's "The New Normal"

Just downloaded Phil Joel's new album "The New Normal" from Noisetrade.com

Went for an ipod lunch walk and gave it a once over. I like it. Pink Elephant is the track that stands out to me. It's kinda like a later Beattles type song

Phil's got a cool story. He was a member of the Newsboys for many years but things changed. This is from ChristianMusicPlanet.com

Joel’s pastor hit him with a pretty convicting question: Are you spending intimate time with God every day? Joel had to admit the answer was no. But he set out to reverse that, and a year of faithful Bible-reading later, he and his wife, Heather, noticed a dramatic difference in their lives. They decided to launch deliberatePeople.com, a resource for those looking to grow spiritually through daily Bible time and prayer.
Isn't that just like God... changing people as they get closer to Him. It's almost as if what we do isn't as important as who we are. Hmmm...

4 September 2008

Pray without ceasing

But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes the life of one of them, that man will be taken away because of his sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for his blood.' "Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me.
Ezekiel 33:6-7

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.
Colossians 4:2

Many of you know that Freedom House (along with me personally) is involved with a movement called "24/7 Prayer". Tonight showed me another reason why "prayer without ceasing" is such a integral component of the Christian life... and why it's not just a fad because a wild Englishman saw a red moon on a rooftop one night.

We had friends over tonight, just chatting about the usual; Politics... Church... How the world's economy is funded by a depleting supply of oil and whoever interrupts society's dependence on it will rule the world... you know, the usual. A while into the discussion, my friend begins to tell me about a "God Dream" that he had last night that he just can't shake.

I won't go into the details... but it was seemingly not a positive thing. So because we know that, like Ezekiel, we're watchmen; we can all prophesy; and we're called to (via prayer) be the managers of this earth through intercession... we worked our way through the various components of the dream. It involved asking God specific questions, hearing the answers, using our brains together, searching Wikipedia for details of a historical figure... and then praying INTELLIGENTLY that God's Kingdom come and His will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

It was a fabulous example of how prayer without ceasing works. Constantly being open to hearing the voice of God and being ready to acknowledge our role in bringing God's answer to fruition. This dream turned out to be warning about an evil thing that wanted to come and rip apart the good things that God is doing in Brantford... THE CITY OF GOD. If you come out to prayer 8pm at Freedom House Friday night, I'll tell you more.

I believe the spiritual reality is more real than the world I see with my eyes. What I see is just a reflection of what I don't. I've seen, heard, experienced... and know in my heart... far too much to believe anything to the contrary. I don't really get why we seem to insist on making prayer complex and burdensome when it's actually an engaging, ongoing beautiful dialogue between me and the one who loves me.

The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
James 5:16

What's your weirdest not-so-dirty little secret?

I was watching a commercial last night for the iphone. After I mopped the puddle of drool off the couch with a Sham-wow... the reality of my not-so-dirty little secret began to ring through my mind like the beating of the tell-tale heart.

If Poe has taught me anything it's... OK I'm not sure if Poe's taught me anything. But here's my weirdest not-so-dirty little secret:

I've never had a cell phone.

It's true. I think it's a combination of not being able to afford one when we got married a decade ago, and then realizing that everyone else has one if we ever really NEEDED one. Weird eh?

So there. My question is...

What's YOUR not-so-dirty little secret?
Do tell

2 September 2008

Mmmm... that's a tasty cigar

I didn't even notice it when I took this picture. We went to a see a cigar roller as part of our tour in the Dominican Republic. Check out the flavor in the middle of this list.


"Jose... gimme a box of anis"
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1 September 2008

Subversive Meekness

I really enjoyed preaching yesterday. You can check out the Podcast and Powerpoint at the Freedom House Blog here. As I studied and prayed through Matthew 5:5 this week. I realized that meekness is really quite subversive. I rarely get to say this, but... in the original Greek "Meek" means:

And NOT in the original Greek, subversive means...

"an attempt to overthrow or cause the destruction of an established or legally constituted government."

Meekness is a humble submission and obedience to God that can overthrow the establishment of darkness in lives. You should read the story of Naaman and Elisha... where very simply and obediently, Elisha (through his servant) told Naaman to go wash himself in the river to be healed. Naaman throws an arrogant hissy-fit but does the simple request, without his expectation of fanfare, and is healed.

I found this interesting quote from Justin who was martyred in 165AD

We ourselves were well conversant with war, murder and everything evil, but all of us throughout the whole wide earth have traded in our weapons of war. We have exchanged our swords for plowshares, our spears for farm tools…now we cultivate the fear of God, justice, kindness, faith, and the expectation of the future given us through the crucified one…the more we are persecuted and martyred, the more do others in ever increasing numbers become believers.”

Yeah... you'd better kills a farmer who does kind things... and QUICK. You do NOT want a happy farmer roaming the hills. SCARY!

Why is meekness so subversive? Because there are A LOT of us with spiritual swords that look like ploughs fighting a battle we already know we win!

At our Friday night Barbecue outreach, I was standing near my friend Peter from Freedom House who was chatting with one of of the people on the street and I heard this REALLY cool exchange.

And I thought... YES! That's the truth. How hard is meekness? Not everyone can do every job in the world or play every role in the church... but come on... MEEKNESS? This what Freedom House is...

"We are not building a church… we ARE the church. We are building a ministry centre, where every member is a minister."

How hard is it to be humble, kind, submissive and obedient??? And it's a POWERFUL weapon. And comes with a terrific retirement plan. You know... THE WHOLE EARTH.

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