Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

22 September 2008

Merry Snipsmas!

My brother asked me the other day what to get a guy for "Snipsmas"? I suggested heaps of cash... but settled for frozen peas. But since I can't use legal tender to purchase anything from my bedroom... peas have been more valuable today.

What an interesting day. It's not everyday that you have slice of your reproductive tract removed! My procedure was actually delayed at the hospital because both of the urology nurses knew me. Thankfully, they have a policy that you don't get to look at the junk of those you know. So my friend from elementary school and the mother of some of the kids I used to be a youth leader for... were spared my nervous operating table ramblings and a peep at my vas deferens

My Doctor was a great guy. After he showed me the 2 large sections of my testicular-innards that now live in a petri cup... I marveled at how much he actually took out!

"Gotta make sure there are no jumpers? Like the Dukes of Hazard over the bridges?" I asked. We talked about the Dukes, Rosco, and Boss Hogg for a while, then he told me about practising medicine in Kentucky where there was actually a Hazzard County nearb by! See now THAT's some kickin' bedside manor. My kinda urologist!

Best vasectomy line so far comes from my friend Dwayne...

Dude, did you get the... snippage? Let me tell you the touching story of a 60 year old Iranian Urologist with fat fingers, and a tender young newfie with too many kids...

... follow shortly after my brother's invention of "Snipsmas". I think it's the word "tender" that clinched the deal for me. Any takers?

Bottom line for me so far is that it was all very easy. Not a lot of pain... unless you count constant dull throbbing pain... pain. Just kidding, I'll be powerlifting and dog sledding again by the morning. Just lots of laying around, defrauding the frozen veggies, popping Tylenol 3's and re watching season 1 of Lost (remembering a simpler time).

I think I'll do this again sometime


Anonymous said...

This post has me in stitches.

Merry Snipsmas and Snippy New Year!

I'm killin' myself ova here.

LOL -- that comes from me and my future tubal ligation. January is going to rock it!!


Dave Carrol said...

Oh it's quite a scene all around Heidi

Melissa said...

Um...can't say I can relate personally, but I can at least sympathize with pain in the nether region after delivering 2 (nearly 10lb)babies....are you kissing the ground your wife walks on for delivering your babies?

Best of luck recovering....

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