Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

24 November 2008

You Googled WHAT and found me?

It's time to take a look back at the month that was. World Leaders were crowned. Fortunes were lost. Crazy humans throughout the Internet universe Googled very strange things... and wound up on my blog.


1. "yuppies hair salon brantford"

Was this like a yuppy wanting to move to town making sure there was a suitable hair salon first? Or maybe someone thinking about converting to "yuppy" and exploring what their hair would have to look like. Or maybe someone from another economic demographic acronym category screaming curses wildly into the midnight sky about that "dang yuppy hair". Either way... good luck with that.

2. I had a TON of "world's fattest" this month thanks to Manuel Uribe. Here are the highlights:

"worlds fattest tom
worlds fattest chicken
worlds fattest mouse
world's fattest poop
world's fattest mom
worlds fattest priest"

World's fattest Tom? Is this a hotly contested "world's fattest" title? Boy the "world's fattest" record archives would have to be enormous to keep track of the world's fattest by name. I wonder if the second fattest Tom has ever tried to knock off the world's fattest Tom. Maybe like a poisoned pork chop? Who would regulate the great Fat Tom war? So many questions have I.

3. "vasectomy failure"

Fffffailure??? What you talkin' bout Willis?

4. "the bailey school kids boogie man doing coach soccer"

Zuh? Who made the what now?

5. "pregnant sea monkeys only"

This has LONG been my blog policy. You ARE a pregnant sea monkey... aren't you? AREN'T YOU??? (shaking fist dramatically in the air)

6. "ross perot hammer pass through lower intestine"

Rose Perot is superhuman in many ways. I would hazard a guess that THIS is not one of those ways.

7. "massey ferguson virtual reality"

This made me laugh out loud. I'm picturing a former worker from "the combine" dreaming about the glory days... pulling an Uncle Rico... "I gotta get back there somehow."

8. "how to spank"

I'm glad you asked me first before launching into this complex operation. Let me walk you through this step by step:

  • Pull down pants
  • Spank child

Please note. It's the child's pants indicated in step one. Not yours.


9. "deaf and dumb prayer and fasting"

Sure. Why not. Go for it.

10. "dance brantford"

If you're referring to Freedom House's New Year's Eve "That 70's Party" all night disco party that you can get your tickets very soon for... then leg 'em down and smack 'em yack 'em my brother.

11. "babies r us brantford"

Actually they used to call me and Krissy that. But I took care of it.
(See #3)

12. "barbie doll fighting a fish"

This Christmas season, get your daughter what she really wants. It's Barbie Doll fighting a fish! That's right, it's all the frills and lace you've come to love from Barbie... but she's fighting a fish! Comes with a real working washing machine a small sample of "Tide for fish guts" to get the crud out of Barbie's evening wear. Comes with a relatively fresh cod, but if you buy today, we'll throw in a mackerel, a carp, and for an especially good fight night... a squid. Look for Barbie Doll fighting a fish this Christmas season at a retailer near you.

2 comments:

Zachariah said...

I Googled big ears and found you... because I find large ears irresistible.

Dave Carrol said...

Ditto Zachariah. Especially when it's just one.

Completely magnetic

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