Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

12 February 2009

You Googled WHAT and found me?

It's time to take a look at the dumbest, funniest, most ironic, weirdest things that wing nuts around the universe searched Google for... and somehow found my blog.

"messing with your children's minds on facebook"

With status's like, "Daddy just cashed in his son's education fund... LAKERS TICKETS!!!!"? Or repeatedly tagging pictures of the the deer you shot on the hunting weekend as your kids? That kind of thing?

"Slogan for anorexia"

How about... "Mmmm... ribs!"
Or ... "It's all the ice cubes you can eat!"

"proverbs in beer advertisements"

I believe it was Socrates that first burped the word "Bud" in the voice of frog.

"manute bol hockey"

While this would be extremely funny, I'm afraid that it could never happen... you see. Sudanese people don't play... wait... huh? It what?

"hope deferred makes the soul suck"

I realize that we're all very caught up in hip new Bible Translations but please...


"find information on native dance in kenya with monkey skins dress"

If you find out anything more, please let me know. I had to buy a monkey skin dress as a bridesmaid last summer and I've YET to find a good place to wear it out since.

"willow creek my king is'

Yoda meets Bill Hybels

"this obama dude is not my savior"
"obama and revelation webdings"

I'm just happy that the conspiracy theorist dimwits have someone new to decode wingdings over. Poor wingdings. I guess they really should have made the clear choice not hide warnings of immanent terror in their font before the axis of evil got to it.


"Ravi Zacharias joke on pastor snake"

RAVI!!! what the??? Is that a snake??? Ya scared the bejesus out of me!!! Apologize to me. See... see because he's an apologist... see... because...

"jesus baptism nude"

Really now. He wore a denominationally issued purple robe with a glowing yellow cross hand-stitched on the front before being dunked in the chlorine tank. Then the congregation sang, "Like a mighty Sea". It was rousing.

"pictures of crack houses in detroit"

I don't have any on me... but I'll bet there will be many kittens in them.

"veggie tales black and white pictures"

Ah yes, artsy pictures of Archibald and Jr singing the Sebu song. Or a film noir shot of Qwerty in action.

"most beautiful armpits of girls"

This is a tough one. I'm going to go out on a limb and say...
  1. Bea Arthur
  2. Cloris Leachman
  3. Velma from Scooby Doo
  4. Mrs. Butterworth
  5. Margaret Thatcher
Here are a few honorable mentions:

bee, seahorse, monkey
obama inauguration out of legos
spectacles, testicles, wallet, watch+mocking phrase
chris friel scuba diving documentary
weird barbie
the fattest david in the universe
rude jesus lightswitch
should your spouse be friends with your employees on facebook
pictures of the fatest horse in the world
making a bigear high sensitive microphone
graffiti astro van

1 comment:

Paul Wilkinson said...

You've been running this feature for awhile now, but as I looked at this one, it suddenly occurred to me that all those wild and wacky terms now are on your blog.

So in a way, isn't this feature somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy?

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