Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

12 May 2009

You Googled WHAT and found me?

I haven't done one of these in a while... so I poured over the last couple months of bizarre things that people Googled... and found their way to Big Ear Creations. Here are the best of the best:

"you've killed us all kid kissing pig"

This could possibly be the greatest thing you could ever shout on your death bed. Picture it... shaking your fist in the air wildly. Of course...

"his name's not warren... i thought his name was warren"

... is a very close 2nd.

"underoos fire hazard"

Oh Lord... something terrible has happened. Call the nurse. Bring gauze.

"hey do you want to grab a coffee tonight?"

I don't know who you are or what you and that windowless cube van want with me... but yes. I'd love coffee. I never say no to coffee.

"inverted nipples"

This is a service that one of my actual clients offers.

Yes... you should expect a bandaid on your nipples.

"curious gollum"

Enjoy the wacky misadventures of Curious Gollum and the man in the yellow hat. Join us next week when crazy curious gollum strangles a poodle for sniffing his "precious". (
Cheesy Announcer Laugh Voice) Ha ha ha ha ha...

"why can't you chew fufu"

cus the wads of doughy cassava and yam will get stuck in your teeth... silly.

"what is a frame i dare not trust the sweetest frame"
"hide it under a bushel what does that mean"

How DARE you question the lyrics of a hymn???!!!! Blasphemer. Just read em, sing 'em, and mean it dern ya.

"saddam good dorito"

It's my idea for a new brand of Dorito. They can be all Middle-Eastern and exotic... and in the branding campaign you can "dictate" that others eat them.

"smoker barbie"

FINALLY a doll that we can all relate to. Would there be cigarettes AND cigars as accessories? Maybe a pipe for the evening after work?

"dave carroll baseball career"

Pretty much went like this

  1. Could hit the ball well
  2. Watched Garth Iorg's swing and copied it
  3. Couldn't ever hit again
  4. Concentrated more on awkwardly singing Steve Miller songs from the outfield to the opposing base runners and seed spitting contests.
Don't ask me why Adlai Stevenson is speaking behind this clip of Garth Iorg failing at the plate. It's just as confusing as Garth Iorg's actual swing

"god sex zoo 365"

In the words of Bill Simmons... "yep... these are my readers"

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