Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

23 July 2009

"Sex is like a square dance" (Sneak Preview of Sex Week)

The week of August 10th, at Christian author Matthew Paul Turner's blog "Jesus Needs New PR", he is presenting "Sex Week". A week for you to send in your questions about sex to be answered by Christian experts, voice your opinions about "touchy" issues (no pun intended) and enjoy the writing of various Christian writers, pastors, councilors and bloggers.

And guess what? I get to be a guest writer! I finished my article yesterday... and I wanted to share it with the Big Ear Readers first. It's an re-cut of a piece I wrote a couple of years ago called "Sex is like a Square Dance". If you have any questions you'd like me to send to Matthew for sex week, just comment on this post (Anonymously if it's too embarrassing) and I'll be sure to forward them on!

It's such an important topic to explore even further from a Christian perspective... I'm looking forward to some great dialogue!

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Sex is like a square dance

My great aunt and uncle are the peppiest 80 year olds I know. It's partially because they've spent most of their adult-aged recreational time square dancing. When I was a kid, our family would often crash their potluck dance parties armed with an unholy solid light-green jello salad as an our ticket in. Mom and Dad would admire their moves from afar, while my brother and I (far too cool for square dancing) snickered at a safe distance while planted firmly on the hard wooden chairs in the corner. But every now and again... we'd all get pulled into the massive mob of plaid partners aswingin' by the token "everybody now" guy. It was a flurry of arms, legs, and Bolo ties. We had precious little idea what was going on or what we were doing... but it was kinda fun. Then after there was Jello Salad and Vernors.

You know... kinda like sex.

Good sex is NOT an achievable discipline that you will be able to stand on a mountain one day and say "Look ma... no hands! I have arrived! It's more often like awkwardly learning to square dance.

"What did that guy say he wants me to do? Wait a second... if she puts her hands up, where are mine supposed to go? What in the world is a dosado? I look like a spaz over here. Does this guy really think this looks good? Wait a minute. Dang... this kinda feels good actually. Go figure. Do it again."

We've put so much pressure on ourselves to have "good sex" that we forget about the fun of it all! I think what constitutes a good sex life is a big smile on two faces and a solid night's sleep. We all hear the same "caller" but when you get out on that floor, no two "sweep the quarter's" are the quite same. There is nothing worse than cautiously suggesting,

"I have an idea. I'd kinda like to swing my partner to and fro... bow to the beau and bow to the belle... then promenade a little bit. You in?"

Only to hear,

"you're clearly not right in the head. We should be squaring to our sets... tipping to the left and tipping to the right BEFORE any promenading is done. Sicko"

Don't you think there is room for swinging, bowing, squaring AND tipping before the big promenade? Sometimes (especially if you've been dancing for many years) we can forget that sex is fun. It can also be funny. Have you ever flutterwheeled when your partner expected a reverse-flutterwheel? Oh Lord what hijinx! Or that time where you had both practiced the "Alamo Swing Through" and it turned out to be an "Alamo throw down?"

Mary Murphy is not putting you on the hot tamale train over your performance. Sex is a dance. Dances are fun. It's inexact and messy. It's a party. Laugh a little. There is jello salad and Vernors waiting for you when you're done.

by Dave Carrol



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