Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

21 January 2010

"You were always on my mind"



Over 300 people have recorded this beautiful song written in 1972, originally performed by Brenda Lee. Elvis also sang it in the 70's around the time he split up with Priscilla, but Willy Nelson defined it in 1982.

I love listening to Willy's road-weary, character-rich voice bring the words...

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind


... to life. It makes you feel the emotional reflections of the wandering wonderer and compels one to stop for a moment and take inventory of how often your affection is actually displayed towards the one who is always on your mind.

It's an area of God-prodding in my life of late. Taking the time to do the little things for my wife that seem to make all difference. And honestly... I don't PERSONALLY understand it because she IS always on my mind. And she should know that right?

Men have this very male habit of not stopping on our quest to conquer long enough to tell (or show) our wives that we love them how THEY need it. Too many good men wind up wishing they could put into words what Willy Nelson did, but not finding the right words, leaving things unsaid and locked in the painful holding-cell of silence.

Our Men's Small Group at Freedom House is studying the John Bevere book "Honor's Reward". He made reference the other day to 1 Peter 3:7 that says:

"... husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered."


God takes treating your spouse "as you should" very seriously. Even to the point of saying that He won't answer your prayers if don't. 1 Peter 1: 1 also puts out the challenge to wives:

"Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs."


Mutual submissiveness, while difficult, is beautiful. I wrote this to my wife the other day,

"I want our love story to be legendary. As we were chatting about husbands and wives submitting and loving enough to die for each other last night... I realized again just how much of a constant changing and growing these scriptures require of us. And just how vigilant we must be in protection of a healthy covenant."


My letter was a bit of a "You ARE always on my mind" letter. Husbands... your wife needs that. I've learned enough about marriage to know that she needs to know, that out of anything you'll ever conquer in this world, it doesn't mean anything without her at the center.

Wives... I'll let you in on one of the mysteries of your husband's mindset. You shouldn't always think the worst about the long hours your husband works at achieving his goals. In a very real, and intentional way, he is doing it FOR YOU. He's doing it to be the husband and man, whom his bride will see as successful and of worth. It's ingrained into him and you'd miss it if it wasn't there. But men need to communicate this in a way that is truthful and meaningful to their wives to show them honor and make sure they know they are first.

And this is the sometimes seemingly mythical carrot mutual submission. The answer... is work and time. It's making the effort. It's speaking the unspoken thoughts and then in the safety of that place, reveling in WONDERFUL Biblical picture painted in Proverbs 5

18 May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

19 A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love.

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