Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

26 February 2010

Why Kindness?

I woke up today to see this headline in the Brantford Expositor


I laughed out loud at the very well written, humorous, tough-in-cheek piece about what happened to my alter-ego's icey homage. This is what she wrote:

Of all the cold-hearted things to do! Some frigid-souled blackheart last weekend managed to steal an iconic figure of goodness from its perch in Harmony Square. As part of the fun festivities for Frosty Fest, ice sculptors created some wonderful work for display.

One of the life-sized sculptures was none other than Captain Kindness, a sort of mascot/role model from Freedom House, the church behind the festival. The Captain has become a familiar sight at parades and family events where he promotes, well, kindness.

So one of the ice sculptors made a glistening transparent version of the Captain, weighing in at about 700 pounds, which immediately made Dave Carrol, the Captain's alter-ego, feel better about any weight issues he has. But when Dave revisited the square on Saturday, his likeness had disappeared!

"There was no shattered ice. It wasn't broken. It was just missing! And it would take some effort to steal."

One of Dave's friends suggested that it was the nefarious work of Dr. Bitterness, while another wondered if the ice-Captain had a 'melt down'. Dave's keeping a lookout for someone with a very large freezer or an enormous puddle of water on the floor.


That is SO funny. I hear that there may have been a vandalism incident being inflicted on my transparent self when a Harmony Square resident valiantly attempted to defend Captain Kindness who was frozen as solid as Han Solo when he was Jaba the Hut's play thing.


The real story however (the one that really excites me) is not just that Captain Kindness has become a recognized enough entity in the city that the disappearance of his frigid namesake makes the news. It's the fact that the message that "kindness can change things" is being heard.


Why Kindness? Why has Freedom House hitched it's wagon to kindness to the point where our local paper calls it our mascot/role model? It's because the source of kindness's power is far far greater than "The Captain", or you, or me in my dockers. Kindness changes things... because simply being kind allows MANY an "in" to "participating in the divine nature" of God.

Check this out in 2 Peter 1:3-9


3His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.


-See that the results of this divine power is EVERYTHING that we need for a full life lived with God.

4Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.


- Participating in God's divine nature helps us to escape the corrupting desires that so many lives are ruled and destroyed by

5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.



- Kindness just one of the chain of events that happen when we participate in the divine nature of God... along with many other important things like faith, goodness, knowledge, self control. Think about world that had those things in abundance. Kindness isn't just about kindness. It's part of a holistic transformation. It grows as we see in verse 8...


8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.


This part is amazing. Not only that by participating in the divine nature, will the admirable qualities like being effective and productive will increase. But it also shows that if you don't PARTICIPATE (which implies working) we'll become nearsighted and blind. Even going as far as to say that we'll forget that we ourselves have been forgiven our sins by Jesus.

Kindness is contagious. It's a boulder of GOOD rolling down a hill at an unsuspecting city. The Bible backs up our little motto, "changing BY good... INTO good". It touches people's hearts because it touches God's heart because it's us actively participating in HIS divine nature that he made available for man when He sent Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. There is no good without God. Even Jesus said, "No one is good—except God alone". Being a Christian, representing Christ, doing good, is a honor... and expressing it through the kindness that God showed us is something that open many doors to many hearts.



24 February 2010

We are more... Oh Canada

At the risk of misusing a hip-esc term of which I don't have nearly the street cred to get away with using... Canadian poet Shane Koyczan "slams".



"We are the true north strong and free and what’s more is that we didn’t just say it we made it be." Love it. Oh Canada.

We Are More” by Shane Koyczan

When defining Canada
you might list some statistics
you might mention our tallest building
or biggest lake
you might shake a tree in the fall
and call a red leaf Canada
you might rattle off some celebrities
might mention Buffy Sainte-Marie
might even mention the fact that we’ve got a few
Barenaked Ladies
or that we made these crazy things
like zippers
electric cars
and washing machines
when defining Canada
it seems the world’s anthem has been
” been there done that”
and maybe that’s where we used to be at
it’s true
we’ve done and we’ve been
we’ve seen
all the great themes get swallowed up by the machine
and turned into theme parks
but when defining Canada
don’t forget to mention that we have set sparks

we are not just fishing stories
about the one that got away
we do more than sit around and say “eh?”
and yes

we are the home of the Rocket and the Great One
who inspired little number nines
and little number ninety-nines
but we’re more than just hockey and fishing lines
off of the rocky coast of the Maritimes
and some say what defines us
is something as simple as please and thank you
and as for you’re welcome
well we say that too
but we are more
than genteel or civilized
we are an idea in the process
of being realized
we are young
we are cultures strung together
then woven into a tapestry
and the design
is what makes us more
than the sum total of our history
we are an experiment going right for a change
with influences that range from a to zed
and yes we say zed instead of zee
we are the colours of Chinatown and the coffee of Little Italy
we dream so big that there are those
who would call our ambition an industry
because we are more than sticky maple syrup and clean snow
we do more than grow wheat and brew beer
we are vineyards of good year after good year
we reforest what we clear
because we believe in generations beyond our own
knowing now that so many of us
have grown past what used to be
we can stand here today

filled with all the hope people have
when they say things like “someday”

someday we’ll be great
someday we’ll be this
or that
someday we’ll be at a point
when someday was yesterday
and all of our aspirations will pay the way
for those who on that day
look towards tomorrow
and still they say someday

we will reach the goals we set
and we will get interest on our inspiration
because we are more than a nation of whale watchers and lumberjacks
more than backpacks and hiking trails
we are hammers and nails building bridges
towards those who are willing to walk across
we are the lost-and-found for all those who might find themselves at a loss
we are not the see-through gloss or glamour
of those who clamour for the failings of others
we are fathers brothers sisters and mothers
uncles and nephews aunts and nieces
we are cousins
we are found missing puzzle pieces
we are families with room at the table for newcomers
we are more than summers and winters
more than on and off seasons
we are the reasons people have for wanting to stay
because we are more than what we say or do
we live to get past what we go through

and learn who we are
we are students
students who study the studiousness of studying
so we know what as well as why
we don’t have all the answers
but we try
and the effort is what makes us more
we don’t all know what it is in life we’re looking for
so keep exploring
go far and wide
or go inside but go deep
go deep
as if James Cameron was filming a sequel to The Abyss
and suddenly there was this location scout
trying to figure some way out
to get inside you
because you’ve been through hell and high water
and you went deep
keep exploring
because we are more
than a laundry list of things to do and places to see
we are more than hills to ski
or countryside ponds to skate
we are the abandoned hesitation of all those who can’t wait
we are first-rate greasy-spoon diners and healthy-living cafes
a country that is all the ways you choose to live
a land that can give you variety
because we are choices
we are millions upon millions of voices shouting
” keep exploring… we are more”
we are the surprise the world has in store for you
it’s true

Canada is the “what” in “what’s new?”
so don’t say “been there done that”
unless you’ve sat on the sidewalk
while chalk artists draw still lifes
on the concrete of a kid in the street
beatboxing to Neil Young for fun
don’t say you’ve been there done that
unless you’ve been here doing it
let this country be your first-aid kit
for all the times you get sick of the same old same old
let us be the story told to your friends
and when that story ends
leave chapters for the next time you’ll come back
next time pack for all the things
you didn’t pack for the first time
but don’t let your luggage define your travels
each life unravels differently
and experiences are what make up
the colours of our tapestry
we are the true north
strong and free
and what’s more
is that we didn’t just say it
we made it be.

23 February 2010

Life suckers or Life givers?

Love Pete Wilson's (from Crosspoint Church in Nashville) blog post today. I'm going to repost it in it's entirety...

I’ll never forget my college pastor, Rick Howerton, telling me “Pete, every person you come in contact with will either suck the life out of you or breathe life into you.”

That was some 15 years ago and I now look back and think “How true!” We truly are being energized or drained by every single interaction we have.

John Ortberg wrote in, The Me I Want to Be (which is a fantastic new book)…

“At a level deeper than words, deeper than exchanging information, every interaction with another person is a spiritual exchange. Some people are life-bringers to us. They increase our energy, deepen our hope, add to our joy, and call out the best in us. Other people are life drainers. They add to our anxiety and invite us to cynicism. WE find ourselves becoming defensive, depressed, or exasperated.”

This explains explains a whole lot doesn’t it?

What’s one thing you can do to make sure you’re energizing and not draining the people around you?

22 February 2010

It's Me... It's ME!

I hate when you wake up in the morning feeling... unsettled. When something is just not right with the world. Like the sick in the pit of your stomach feeling you get the morning after Canada loses to the US in hockey... only less defined. In one way or another it usually has to do with a relationship. Sometimes it's between you and someone else. Sometimes it's your concern for another person's well being. Sometimes... it's between you and yourself. Something's just not right.

Sometimes I wonder what God thinks when He rolls over in the morning to look at His bride in North America. See... something's just not right with us. Even the most committed are too often right alongside WC Fields who famously, as an agnostic caught reading the Bible, said:

"I'm looking for a loophole"


We look for ways to enjoy our sin instead of humbling ourselves, asking for forgiveness and changing our ways. We look for loopholes to get around our mandate to worship and work together as a family instead of digging in and making sure the Kingdom of God advances in the wonderful way it was designed to. Author Donald Miller helps run an amazing program in the States called "The Mentoring Project". A couple of days ago as he blogged about "how mentoring can change the world one relationship at a time", he astutely determined:

We believe the government is large because the church has been too small. We believe fatherless boys are the lead domino affecting a number of social problems including crime, teen drop out rates, unwanted pregnancy and abortion, and eventually divorce rates. We talk openly at our board meetings about the most economically efficient way to shut down as many as 15% of American prisons within a single generation through one-on-one relationships with young, fatherless men. We believe there is only one institution that can turn back the tide on dysfunctional families, and that institution is the church.


Do we care enough to change? To work? Or is the cost of following THE Christ who died for us so that we ALL can really live, just too heavy for our fragile selves? And the social gospel without the redemption that comes with the acceptance and surrender to Jesus Christ... does not work. Derek Webb wrote a razor-sharp album about the church as the bride of Christ a few years back called “She Must and Shall go Free”. In his song, “Wedding Dress” he wrote,

'I am a whore I do confess, I put you on just like a wedding dress and run down the aisle. I'm a prodigal with no way home, I put you on just like a ring of gold and I run down the aisle to you.”




When I think about this, the image that is ingrained into my permanent consciousness is that of my pastor and friend Brian Beattie.


A couple of years ago on Mother's Day Sunday as his wife Sharlyss was teaching about the church as the bride, Brian stormed out of the back of our church barroom. He was dressed as if Ringling Brothers had exploded on his face with a long black wig and a dirtied up dress. He ran to the front of the room, chest puffed out in front of him, proudly displaying his gigantic, fake lopsided bosom.


As Sharlyss continued to talk about the glowing Bride of Christ that Jesus is coming back for, Brian kept shouting... “It's Me! It's ME!” proudly pronouncing the arrival of the unprepared, unkept goddess. I can't get the image out of my head when I think about our marriage to a King who is without sin, who when He looks at me... sees "the hope of glory".


I think I'd understand if God just forgave my hideousness and patted me on the head as Abba Father. I get that. Abba can even discipline if He wants. That makes sense. I'd get it if he wanted to hang out with me in that, “oh that's just Kramer, my wacky neighbor” way. “He does some pretty out there things... but don't pay him no mind, it's just his way”. But that's not enough for God. He chooses to woo us, even though we won't stop shouting "It's me", to a place of freedom while looking at me with "those" eyes.


This week on Freedom House TV, we're going to discuss if Christianity works (both definitions of work). You should join us for that discussion. But we can... and must change. The world needs the church to be "The Church". What a testament to the nature of God it is to know that even though He, by all rights, SHOULD wake up with that unsettled "everything's a mess" feeling about us... instead He wants to love us into Freedom.

17 February 2010

Brantford's Local Politicians and Captain Kindness talking about Frosty Fest

Mayor Mike Hancock, MPP Dave Levac, and MP Phil McColeman along with Captain Kindness and Brian Beattie talk about what a wonderful family festival Frosty Fest was over the Family Day Weekend.

16 February 2010

A Greater Song

One of our worship regulars at Freedom House is Paul Baloche's "Greater Song". It says,

I see the heavens proclaiming You day after day; And I know in my heart there must be a way to sing a great song to you on the earth.


The more I've thought about these lyrics and the following cry of "Hallelujah we want to lift you higher" ... the more I think the "greater song" our spirits cry out for is what happens when we worship and work TOGETHER. You can encounter God in a very real way alone in your bedroom, and many have argued that that is enough. It quite simply is not. There is a God mandate of worshiping together. It's a different thing that happens when MANY join voices with a collective passion.

There is also a God-mandate to work and serve together. What happened yesterday in our community does not happen without cooperation, corporate generosity (within our church and in the community), organization, and the humble sacrifice of SELF for the benefit of THE WHOLE.

Over the last 3 days... an estimated 10,000 people (roughly 15% of our city) came through a winter carnival that little old Freedom House funded, planned, staffed, and executed with excellence. Every half hour I (dressed in a big red leotard as Captain Kindness... a super hero we invented and who is now a recognizable entity in our community) shared the message that Kindness can and WILL change our city. It will change it BY good, INTO good. That alone was amazing to me... but frankly those words paled in comparison to what our guests saw and experienced.

There were adults and teens alike in the cold making funnel cakes, running horse-drawn trolley rides and taking tickets while kids spun around on an old time carousel. There was the "Kindness Crew" that spent the weekend handing out free chocolates and stuffed animals with the message that we should be kind... because it brings change in MANY lives when we pay it forward. It was a living TEAM (or a BODY if you church it up) functioning together... not so they could be "blessed" but to "bless" others. It was a true depiction of what can happen when Isaiah 26:8 gets into our heart and we choose to work it out in the real world.


Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you;
your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.

This is what one of our local newspapers The Brant News wrote about it:

The carnival, which runs until Monday, features a carousel, pony rides, horse-drawn trolley rides, games, skating and lots of food. It’s a way to serve the city and help make positive changes downtown, said organizer and Freedom House pastor Brian Beattie.

“It’s a great world we live in, but we can make it better,” he said.

That’s where Captain Kindness comes in. Dressed in a red, large-muscled superhero costume, Dave Carrol of Freedom House played the kind crusader during the event. His job is to teach children and parents alike that kindness can change a city. He’s quickly becoming a recognized face in the square, where he’s spread kindness at several other city events.

“I love coming downtown and seeing people here enjoying themselves,” Carrol said. “Downtown has always had a bad rap and the city has been able to change that, but you have to change the culture as well and that’s what I think we’re doing here.”


At church Sunday morning Brian made what I thought was a very profound statement. He talked about how when churches used to prepare for outreaches we'd say, "if only 1 gets saved it's all been worth it". But yesterday he noted the that reality is that if not a single person comes to Christ after this past weekend... it's STILL all been worth it. In fact this whole weekend, we did not "preach" a single time. That's not ALWAYS how we do it... and we no qualms about speaking publicly about Christ but for this event why didn't at all. Why? Because Jesus Himself also told us that we are to:

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself."
Luke 10:27


Worship and Work. Our job is to reflect Christ in our community/to our neighbor because we love Him... and since we love Him, we love the community BECAUSE of the hope we have in HIM! He said to do it... so we do. Period. It's our job to sing that "greater song". Then it's God's job from there. One that He paid the price on the hill of Calvary to be able to fulfill. Jesus said in John 12:32, "When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all men to myself."

Romans 2:4 also says that "God's kindness leads you toward repentance"

Freedom House... we played our part in this miraculous spiritual process this weekend EXCELLENTLY. Anyone who wants to come with us is welcome. There is room and roles for everyone willing to worship AND work. Shall we?

15 February 2010

Frosty Fest tour

When it's all said and done I'm sure I'll have some more articulate thoughts about these last few amazing days. But until then...

There is one more day of Frosty Fest to go on FAMILY DAY. Here's a taste of the fun!

11 February 2010

Growing up

It's funny how you can tell what season of life you're in by where hair is disappearing... and where it's growing. There was a time that the prospects of "hair where there was no hair" was titillating. Good things were sure to come the way of a man as hairy as I. But the ears & nose hair season of life is far less exciting. So is the suddenly aggressive pursuit of the dreaded "M" shape of male pattern baldness. Guess I've had a good run.

The body ages poorly. Try as you might... It will never feel or look as good as it used to. But an aged spirit and soul is a very fine thing. I think there is an immaturity in the constant pursuit of youth. Growth requires change, and change requires a measure of death to young things.

1 Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

As a teenager, I remember reading JD Salinger's "Catcher in the Rye." Truthfully it was mostly because in WP Kinsella's "Shoeless Joe"... the voice sent Ray Kinsella to try and take Salinger to a baseball game. I was fascinated with the extreme reclusiveness of Salinger and wanted to read this lauded, coming of age book with curse words, that thrust him into the spotlight he so loathed.

Catcher in the Rye is an engrossing book. It absolutely draws you into the life of Holden Caulfield like the Millenium Falcon caught in the Death Star's tractor beam. But once I got in... I found that I really didn't like Holden Caulfield very much. He seemed to be the personification of many things about being young that I didn't like. We shared a detest for the "phonies" in life that made me not want to participate in "the system" either. He was almost Gen X before it existed. We should have gotten along. I DID feel many of the things that he felt... but I remember thinking that being inside his world was bleak, depressing and pretty darn hopeless. I didn't like the company. I knew that, even if didn't know how I'd do it differently, how Caulfied played out life solved nothing. It just made it worse. The writing style and the book itself is undoubtedly a masterpiece. JD Salinger died not that long ago after many strange years of life.

Donald Miller wrote a blog about a week ago about Catcher in the Rye. He was surprised that only a few people caught that while writing HIS masterpiece "Blue Like Jazz", he was repeatedly reading Catcher. He wrote "Don" in that style, and with a very Caulfield flavor. But I find what Miller writes at the end of his blog EXTREMELY interesting.

"I actually find the book annoying now. Perhaps because I’ve read it so many times, or because I’ve grown up a bit. I had to read Blue for the audio version a few years ago, and I felt the same way when I read it aloud as I do now reading Catch. I wanted the writer to grow up, to stop hiding behind cynicism, and to get over his superiority complex."
Don Miller


Zing. See this is growing up. Not being afraid to burn down and "die to" what we used to be in name of being moved (as the Bible says) from glory to glory. Caulfield and Miller in both of their books, scratched anxiety itches of those in the throes of a life-era very successfully. It's a part of the process. And that's good.

But we can't make the mistake of...

  1. Stopping at youth and shunning moves to mature
  2. Thinking that what we think now is THE answer

Those lead to (as Miller pointed out) adult immaturity and superiority complexes. Neither are becoming on a mid 30's balding man with ear hair in his big right ear.

8 February 2010

Saturday Night Lingering

I spent the weekend in middle the first "Great White North" scene I've seen with my eyes this winter as the guest speaker on a youth retreat. It's the second year in a row that this group has brought me along as a visiting voice in their group. It's an honor having the chance to be an encourager to moldable teenagers, but almost more so, I love encouraging Pastors who give so much of themselves. Guests are just that. Pastors stay.

My favorite moment of the weekend came on Saturday Night at about 11pm. We had finished our evening session where God had moved very tangibly. Earlier in the night, one after another, students had stood in front of their peers and prophesied about who God was in their group. The spontaneity and exposition of their exchanges testified to the goodness of a good good God. As one finished talking... cheering and clapping erupted and they scrambled to be the next to get in on what God was doing. It was real and powerful.

By 11pm the loud music of the event had faded. A shaggy teen-leader was working out his salvation on an acoustic guitar quietly as I reclined my tired mind back on the only mildly comfortable stacking chair just to linger in the moment... to think about what my beautiful wife would be doing at home... and listen. What I heard was the beautiful sounds of pastoring.

I heard the sound of a pastor... talking with genuine love to individual kids. He intentionally looked each one in the eye, and with an emanating warmth in his voice that can only come from an anointed servant, he built them up and guided them towards the green pastures that teenage eyes often miss... in hopes that they'd stop, breathe and eat.

Pastors are shepherds. They are the "One who herds, guards, and tends". They aren't as burdened by the conquering of the countryside as they are with their charge of making sure all the sheep make it to their destination. But the wonderful thing about shepherds, is that they wield power in their sincerity. God knew that in David's righteous desire to serve his people/family... he'd have the courage to stand, throw rocks at, and slay a giant in the name of his Lord.

Saturday night at 11pm there was an intoxicating spirit lingering in that room, decorated by moose antlers and bear heads. The spirit of God resides in God's people living out God's heart.

4 February 2010

The good life



This is a lonely life
Sorrows everywhere you turn
And that’s worth something
When you think about it
That’s worth some money.
Paul Simon


The "good" life is the "Godly" life.
The "Godly" life demands death.
Death that brings life.
God didn't like what was happening in the world either.
But He loved it so much that He gave His only Son.
So that we who deserve death... could live.

Living that out that is hard.
It hurts.
It's lonely.
It often feels life-sucking instead of life-giving... and life-getting.
RIGHTFULLY caring enough to sacrifice SHOULD be worth money.
If that mattered.
Instead it comes with shallow buried hope, a shovel and a kind word...
all that we need to find it;
and property in The Kingdom.

3 February 2010

Living Offensively On Purpose (LOOP)

If you're a Big Ear reader... I'd love to have you join me in a live dialogue on Freedom House TV tonight from 9-10ET about how we should live on the offense instead of defense... how to not TAKE offense in doing so... and (here's where I'd love you to join in with your thoughts) how you "hear God" so that you know where you're supposed to be "on the offensive". Share it with a friend!

Watch live streaming video from freedomhousetv at livestream.com

1 February 2010

Sexual Mindsets: THIS is about THAT


This week I watched the power of sexuality play out before my eyes... and not in a good way. Without going into the scenario, let me just say that as I listened to Craig Gross's "The Dirty Little Secret" audiobook (thanks again Zondervan), combined with this incident... I was again reminded just how vital a healthy sexual mindset is to our healthy everyday lives. The results of ignorance and/or being lax in our vigilance are potentially devastating. Gross says specifically about those caught in the pornography trap,

"The casualties are dying in a slow cooker"


And it holds true to any of us caught in unhealthy sexual mindsets. It's not always quick... but it can be deadly. A while back I wrote a blog about called "The 'how long sex take compared to how important it is' meter". I wrote:

Did you know that a new study has shown that "optimal sex" only takes 3-13 minutes? That's not that long. And 3 to 13 minutes a couple times a week does not constitute a great percentage of a human's time. Yet sex dominates our thoughts, our plans, our words... it's enormous. Those 20 minutes a week can either build us up or tear us down.

The "you won't do x,y,z" discussion is a VERY common thing. It's something we all experience but left undealt with, it leads to isolation, resentment, jealousy, etc... And when you consider that "x" would be 2 minutes out of 20 in a week... "y" would only be 1 minute a week, and "z", barely 30 seconds a week... answers MUST be closer than we feel like they are if we'll talk and be honest.

Maybe there are "x y z" reasons that "x y z" actions don't happen. Maybe good reasons. But nothing can't be overcome. Talking about "x y z" can be awkward. It makes you feel very vulnerable. Because the reality is that "xyz" is not about "xyz". As Rob Bell talks about in "Sex God", THIS is about THAT. The weekly 20 minutes of naked, both reflects and shapes our clothed relationship that fills the other 167.2 hours.


Today I'm thinking about the THAT's in our lives. It's our "THAT's" that not only effect our current"this"... but our future "this's", other people's "this's" and a whole lot of our other "that's" too (just for good measure).

It's awful hard to even sleep peacefully when something in our lives is out of alignment sexually. Whether it's fighting lust alone, everyday relational tension, or battling an unhealthy mindset that has been ingrained into us (either self-inflicted or imposed on us against our will). "THAT'S" are everywhere when it comes to sex. And they are only resolved through being on top of them through constant self-analysis.

But what are we looking for? Often it's selfish attitudes (that may or may not lead into action... right now at least) that give footholds to little areas of bondage that rob freedom. And not the freedom to be a sexual maniac. That's an unreal, unnatural image that the porn industry has so successfully conned us into believing is reality. Craig Gross will tell you that over the years as he's built relationships with those inside the porn industry... that even the porn stars know that it's a farce. To them it's work. Unpleasant sex that they claim doesn't much effect their real sex life because it bears little resemblance to anything natural. And it's intentionally designed to hook you. To drag you (willingly and hungrily) deeper into further realms of depravity.

Thinking about sex a lot... is entirely natural. And it's GOOD! Think about how many of our decisions in life are, even in a round about way, based around charming the opposite sex. In high school when I was in the flirting stage with my wife, I remember wearing a pair of khaki pants (completely out of my character) instead of my usual ripped jeans one day... just to turn her head my way. Success. She remembers it to this day. Heck... I'm wearing khaki pants today for much the same reason.

It's so telling that this act that takes so little of our actual time perspectively, yet fills our consciousness and subconsciousness so often... is designed to be done naked and vulnerable with your best friend in the safest of places. It's designed to bring peace and unity. It's designed to give you even a brief glimpse of a place where pain doesn't exist... but "together" is forever. And when we don't have that... we had better work to get it there for everyone's sake.

This is about That.

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