Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

9 March 2010

You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, a rebel... so long Dottie.

In the cinematic epic "Pee Wee's Big Adventure", bike shop employee and femme fatale Dottie, in an attempt to gain the affections of PW is met with this legendary brush off...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... (sigh) ... silly Pee Wee. I'll often say "There are things about me you wouldn't understand. I'm a loner... a rebel" half joking to people when I just don't feel like socializing (futility hoping beyond hope that someone will get my Pee Wee's Big Adventure reference. Alas it never happens. Sigh again) Sadly though, it's actually how many of us have conditioned ourselves to be. I blame Pee Wee Herman for this. This and my fear of talking chairs and windows... and for ingraining the word "zizzybalooba" into my subconscious.

Unfortunately for our own pride and ego... as scary and offensive as this might be to introverts and thinkers everywhere... we NEED other people. YOU are not enough for you. I was reading an article in Ministry Today called "The Significance of Serving"talking about the crisis that is the lack of genuine relationship in not only our churches, but our culture. There were a number of Barna-stats that tell a sad tale, but none scarier than this one.

H.B. London, head of pastoral ministries for Focus on the Family, on the topic Pastors at Risk. London disclosed that at least 70 percent of pastors in the United States claim they have no friends.

No wonder so many either fall or leave the ministry! My first thought went back to Mr. Herman

There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand.

And truthfully... the loner/rebel mindset plays a part. These are real people with real issues who have taken a role as a mouthpiece for God. That's too much for a single person to deal with. Pastor Pete Wilson today on Without Wax analyzed the 'why's' this way:

1) False Expectations: Many want their pastor to be friendly to everyone but close to no one!

2) False Assumptions: Many pastors have been told “You can’t EVER, EVER, trust people because they’ll use things you share with them against you one day.” (Side Note: Didn’t seem to stop Jesus.)

3) False Accusations: Many pastors will be criticized if they have close friends. If a normal person has close friends we call it healthy. If a pastor has close friends we call it a “clique".

And I get all that. It IS a risk to let people into your real world to see the real YOU. And God has given us freedoms that are often abused in relationships that cause hurt, pain, betrayal and a plethora of other fun things. But it's a risk worth taking. Because we NEED others.

Of course God knows what will happen if we use our freedom the wrong way. Apparently He thinks it's worth the risk
- CSLewis

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