Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

23 March 2010

You Googled WHAT and found me?


It's been many months since I've scoured through the little bits of banality that people type into Google... and wind up on my blog. Clearly there are people looking for answers. A little e-satisfaction. I'm only too happy to oblige.

"why someone should like square dancing": What's not to love? It's a blizzard of Bolo ties, plaid, gibberish and at the end there is ALWAYS macaroni salad. A night of dosidoing with the elderly in a school gym is like a vacation from the known world for an evening. People pay big money for that.

"quilt labels free": We will put an end to quilt labels in our time... by George.

"Methodist funny things": Oh Methodists are a RIOT! Like when the do the name game with Wesley! Wesley Wesley Bo Blessyley Banana Fanna Fo Flessley. Hahahaha! Or when they rif on Calvanism. Like 'What do Calvinists say when they’ve fallen downstairs? Thank goodness that’s over with…' Those are some funny Methodist things right there.

"midget sandwich": Mmmm... on white or whole wheat?

"laser cat awkwardfamilyphotos.com": Well I don't know that one. But I did find was HAS to be THE most awkward family photo of all time on awkwardfamilyphotos.com


Umm... Mom? Please no. Please no. Please no. Mom... ??? !!! Please no.

"inverted nipples bad or good
": Good question, thanks for asking. Let's break this down. On the pro side, you could safely wear tight white James Dean-like t-shirts on cold days without fear of protrusion. It would also be a good conversation piece. On the con side... as a man... I can't think of anything.

"it's not truly iowa anymore the old iowa way will never be seen again girls and boys yep can you hear me now mike mic turned on wont see iowa girls sh": Yeah... I miss the old Iowa too. ?? Thanks for popping in.

"how do i do the charlie brown yell": Thanks for asking First you have to have a dirt-low self esteem and crippling emotional pain. To achieve this, simply hire the shrink you play baseball with to berate you and psychologically beat you down over time while taking your nickels. She will finish off the job of physical humiliation on the ball diamond. Then when you're all alone in your own personal, isolated, hell... tilt your head back and moan... "Aaugh". Give it a try. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

"beetabega": Shout out Cliff Clavin. "Beetabega on a pita fajita?" "Sorry, I don't speak Spanish." Darn that Kelly and her simple ways.

"destroyed fat ass barbie": New from Matel.

"what is the main pre-occupation of the writer in a short story": Likely trying to figure out who is ever going to purchase a short story. Then trying to figure out whether to eat the chicken or beef flavored Mr Noodles for dinner. For the record... I'd choose Chicken.

"young people are stupid": Well duh. But you're likely equally as stupid for trying to prove it by reading my blog. This is my favorite GK Chesterton quote:
I believe what really happens in history is this: the old man is always wrong; and the young people are always wrong about what is wrong with him. The practical form it takes is this: that, while the old man may stand by some stupid custom, the young man always attacks it with some theory that turns out to be equally stupid. GK Chesterton

You can't be a Christian writing without quoting Chesterton. So I'm in.

"how do Canadians dress": Let me refer once again to Awkwardfamilyphotos.com


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