Writer, Church leader, Eccentric Nut, Marketer

I'm Church Leader, Writer, Speaker, Marketer, Kindness Project Founder, Broadcaster and Superhero. But most important I'm a Husband, Father and a worshiper of Jesus.

18 November 2010

Jalapenos are breaking up with me

I've suspected it for a while, but my worst fears have been confirmed. Jalapenos are breaking up with me. All the signs are there. And I'm NOT OK with it.

I grew up in a jalapenoless home where my Dad would hunker down over a bowl of less-than-mild chili from a packet sweating profusely. I longed for the heat. I knew there had to be... more.

Then I went to Ghana and discovered little green scalding hot peppers floating in my soup. I was born again. Finally SOUP made sense to me. The trees were greener. The sky was bluer. My lips were on fire... and life was good. Jalapenos and I were in love. We were always together. There was not a sausage that wouldn't be covered by their peppery-goodness. Nachos. Soup. Sandwiches. I have JUST discovered Jalapeno Peanut Butter from Oklahoma for crying out loud!

But something has changed between jalapenos and me. Something is different now. I'm afraid Jalapenos are breaking up with me. They don't treat me well. When I'm with them, everything is good. It seems just like old times. But when we part ways, everything inside me is just... I don't know... turned upside down, upset... just wrong. Sometimes REALLY wrong. And I'm NOT OK with this.

It used to be 24 hours after a jalapeno rendezvous, I'd find myself singing Johnny Cash songs as a joke. I could handle that. Love hurts a bit. But what jalapenos are doing to me is RUINING our relationship. I still love jalapenos. In fact my love for them is only GROWING. They are so much more all-encompassing then I ever realized. They've infiltrated my very way of life. And they're breaking up with me.

Is it over? I've working hard to rekindle the fire over here. My last 3 meals have included them and their by-products. But .... their revenge on my aging body is just ... getting (sob) .... worse. Jalapenos are breaking up with me. And... and .... and... I'm afraid of life without them.


Patti said...

classic co-dependence. ;) you CAN live without their destructive influence on your life. i believe in you.

Dave Carrol said...

But ... they don't mean it when they hurt me. They really love me. I know it. I can change them.

Patti said...

*sigh* Do I dramatically slap you and say, "NO!!! LOOK AT WHAT THEY'RE DOING TO YOU!!!" or do I sadly walk away, knowing you can't hear the truth?


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