I tell every young couple that gets engaged as soon as possible that "Getting married is the most political thing you'll ever do outside of running for office". None of them believe me. Then the process begins.
Then one mother snarls at the other about spoons.
Then a bridesmaid snarls at another because of jealousy.
Then you're all snarling at each other while rehashing long-gone familiar familial squabbles over who should stand where and why.
It's enough to make the runaway Vegas wedding seem appealing.
But wait... did you think your wedding (or marriage) was about YOU?
I told one of my young betrothed friends the other day, "It's kinda a right of passage into marriage." In fact, this stuff actually reflects what marriage IS. Marriage bears little resemblance to the gooey-eyed idyllic paintings that little girls suckle themselves to sleep with. The majority of the time, marriage consists of brokering deals, uncomfortable compromises, vigorous debate, weighing notions of morality and severing one's own sense of entitlement.
Marriage is a voluntarily entered into institution that contractually obligates your life to be about SOMEONE ELSE.
Humans are by nature desirous OF ourselves and FOR ourselves. We're so vain. I bet we think this song is about us. We want what WE want. So the fighting starts. Fits are thrown. Stands are taken. Self righteous lines are drawn in the sand... and lonely nights are barely slept through. That's pain of separation.
Where's the good part?
The good part is that in marriage, you've pre-chosen to never leave or forsake (give up something formerly held dear) this person you're squirrelling-around-in-your-own-shorts-mad-at. So to ever have peace in your life & home ... you MUST find an answer or you won't ever sleep well at night again.
The good part is that this forces you to live life for ANOTHER... not yourself.
The good part is that this forces you to change your stupid thoughts you didn't know you had.
The good part is that LIFE ITSELF is about OTHERS.
The good part is that living REAL life together makes each other better people.
The good part is that marriage is a lot like how our relationship with God works. He lives with us, and convicts us of our selfishness and sin just because of His proximity, and won't let us be comfortable in our second-rate thinking. He causes us to want to change.
The good part is that marriage IS like a fairy tale because even though there are many trials to overcome... you live life together... happily BECAUSE of what you overcome.
I love you Kristina... BECAUSE you'll fight it out with me :)